Darth Vader Runs For President of Ukraine 114
First time accepted submitter neuroscroll (579178) writes "An unorthodox candidate presented himself for the future early presidential elections in Ukraine: the Darth Vader himself is promising to make an empire out of a republic. He is the official candidate of the Ukrainian Internet party. From the article: 'The Sith lord, or at least an unnamed costumed protester often seen on Kiev's Independence Square flanked by his loyal stormtroopers during the winter protests, has been chosen as the official candidate of the Ukrainian Internet party (UIP) which has become known for its theatrical public stunts. "After winning intra-party primaries by a landslide, comrade Vader will be our party's candidate," said the UIP leader, Dmitry Golubov, who spent time in prison after being convicted of using the internet to run a credit card fraud scheme.'"
This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:3)
It's un-Ukrainian! Lord Vader should remain the enforcing power of the throne - not the occupant!
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:5, Funny)
But now, who will run Google?
Re: (Score:2)
But now, who will run Google?
Disney, of course, haven't you kept up with the buy-out of the Evil Empire by the Eviler Empire?
Re: (Score:2)
Vile Empire, Viler Empire... Man, they all start just looking the same after awhile...
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:5, Funny)
It's un-Ukrainian! Lord Vader should remain the enforcing power of the throne - not the occupant!
Not only that, the power which most resembles the Empire at this moment in time is Russia.
In Soviet Russia the Force is against YOU!
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:4, Funny)
So then it makes sense, Darth Vader is running so that he can implement Emperor Putin's will.
In Neo-Soviet Russia, force uses you!
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:4)
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:4, Insightful)
No. The power that resembles the Empire most is the United States.
Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...
The US boot crushes the testicles of the world. Now, go drink your Pepsi, and read more self-congratulatory pap about the "free world".
Re: (Score:2)
Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...
Did US annex any of these countries?
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:1)
The Empire probably fit the model of asymmetric federalism [wikipedia.org] best. Most systems were under the direct control of some sort of Imperial Sector office, but others such as Hutt Space or the Corporate Sector I'm pretty sure are left to their own autonomy... as long as Imperial Laws aren't broken (and the Imperials care to enforce them). I believe that citizens who lived in these areas were Imperial Citizens. It seems even Tatooine had a small Imperial presence, otherwise they like to carry of Dewbacks around o
Re: (Score:2)
You forgot the Spacing Guild. [drbeat.li]
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:5, Insightful)
Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...
Did US annex any of these countries?
Yes. The USA is owned and run by international corporations. Thus wars are fought at the behest of these commercial interests. When the USA destroys some place like Iraq or Afghanistan the US companies make out like bandits not only in the military industrial complex but also the mandatory US companies doing the unsatisfactory "rebuilding" effort to fix the unnecessary "shock and awe" damage. [youtube.com] The economy itself is replaced.
The borders of the country and its name can even stay the same. International corporations don't care much about borders. It's the economy that matters, and what they fight for is more privatization and deregulation. Thus these countries are indeed annexed by the rulers of the USA.
Re: (Score:2)
Not only that, we took a backseat to Europe in the Libyan deal recently. If the US was really like the Empire we'd have crushed the USSR right after WWII like Patton wanted. After that, with no one else holding nukes we'd have ruled the planet. Worldwide Pax Americana. This whining over Iraq is unbelievable. We stumbled in, knocked out Saddam's bully boys then realized we had destroyed the government of the country in the process and had to hold it together and get them back on their feet long enough t
Re: (Score:3)
I seriously doubt that USA had the ability to crush the USSR in 1945, regardless of Patton's opinion. It didn't have enough nukes to use them as anything other than a terror weapon, and no ability to deliver them to where they'd actually serve a strategic purpose (e.g. to attack the industrial centers in Urals).
The "whining" over Iraq is also not groundless. It's not just about what actually happened, but also about the justification for it. In all honesty, US should acknowledge it as a bad thing, a war of
Re: (Score:2)
I'm constantly amazed by how many people think Saddam was better than Bush. I've seen it stated here many, many times.
Re: (Score:3)
I mean to suggest that Saddam was not in any significant way different from a dozen other dictatorial leaders in the same region, some of them of the countries that US considers allies (like Saudi Arabia). So using that as an excuse to invade the country only makes sense if you would also go after all the other guys.
Then, of course, there's the whole balance issue. Taking out a bloody dictator in a nice, clean coup is great and all. A full-scale invasion and occupation with more overall civilian casualties
Re: (Score:2)
More civilian casualties than Saddam killed? Bullshit! Estimates of Saddam's murders run from 250,000 on the low end to over a million. This leaves out the countless maimed that had their eyes gouged out and limbs chopped off. The estimates of deaths in the Iraq war for civilians from violence is around 100-160 thousand. Those are from both sides as after the initial invasion the "insurgents" cared not who they blew up. They were happy to blow up 60 Iraqis to kill a couple of Marines in the process.
Re: (Score:3)
By "civilian casualties" I count the entire death toll post-invasion, including intra-faction fighting, terrorist attacks etc. This is only fair, since destabilization of their society was a direct outcome of the war, so every death that happens now because of that instability that didn't happen before has to be weighted against what Saddam would've killed. Note, I'm not saying that US leadership is morally responsible for those deaths - this is an utilitarian calculation, not an ethical one. That's why I'm
Re: (Score:2)
I'm not arguing that what happened in the invasion of Iraq was good or right but that it was nowhere even close to the nightmare that existed under Saddam. I mentioned only the dead that were reported due to mass murder. Not war dead from the war with Iran that he started, that's easily another million. There is no comparison with what went on under Saddam and I don't think anyone misses the crazy bastard and his two sons were even worse. Every single time I hear someone say Iraq was better off before w
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
No, but they caused deaths of more than 100 thousands people in Iraq alone (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casualties_of_the_Iraq_War). They would better annex it without killing anyone.
Re: (Score:2)
Wouldn't it be more efficient simply to memorize the script? Why would a real nerd bother with media he can't control the rate of consumption of?
Re: (Score:2)
Wouldn't it be more efficient simply to memorize the script? Why would a real nerd bother with media he can't control the rate of consumption of?
There is a speed control in vlc so you can watch at any speed you like. A real geek would know that.
Re: (Score:2)
If you watch it frame by frame, you can see the scenes of wookie porn that was edited in to create the subliminal desire to mate seven foot tall hairy things.
Re: (Score:2)
the subliminal desire to mate seven foot tall hairy things.
...are you suggesting the producers were from San Francisco? Or California, at least?
Re: (Score:3)
If you watch it frame by frame, you can see the scenes of wookie porn that was edited in to create the subliminal desire to mate seven foot tall hairy things.
As a six foot seven hairy thing, I am eternally grateful. Who knows how many times I've gotten laid because of a wookie fetish.
Re: (Score:2)
Who knows how many times I've gotten laid because of a wookie fetish.
I know -- *checks he's actually on slashdot* -- zero of zero times.
Re: (Score:2)
But you can't understand at any speed you like. A real geek can read faster than the speed at which sped up video becomes unintelligible.
Re:This is a TRAVESTY! (Score:4, Insightful)
You never see the true Dark Lord, working from the shadows.
Re: (Score:2)
"the Darth Vader" (Score:5, Insightful)
which got me thinking, I guess Darth is a title but Vader isn't, so it would be analogous to say, "the King James", which makes sense only in reference to the King James Version of the bible. Does this mean there is a Darth Vader version of badly translated Sith teachings? If so, why am I reading this shittily written article summary instead of that?
Re: (Score:2)
which got me thinking, I guess Darth is a title but Vader isn't, so it would be analogous to say, "the King James", which makes sense only in reference to the King James Version of the bible. Does this mean there is a Darth Vader version of badly translated Sith teachings? If so, why am I reading this shittily written article summary instead of that?
I once worked where there was an employee with the surname Vader, I'm sure her life was just a little bit difficult due to this and morons running up to her all the time and asking how Darth is.
Re: (Score:2)
you could be this guy [strangecosmos.com] and be both batman AND superman at the same time.
"I find your lack of multiple concurrent superheros disturbing..."
Re: (Score:2)
'bin' actually means 'son of'. Which I guess raises even stranger possibilities.
Re: (Score:2)
No, that interpretation is negated by the subsequent "himself."
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
It won't help if he wins (Score:5, Interesting)
The power of a man in a Darth Vader costume is insignificant compared to the power of a Russian tank army.
Re:It won't help if he wins (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
May the Schwarz be with you!
Re: (Score:2)
May the Swartz be with you!
FTFY.
Re: (Score:2)
Why, thank you... I think. You have a script?
Re: (Score:2)
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
It's called dialectic materialism, my friend.
Re: (Score:2)
The correlation of forces.
Re: (Score:2)
I find your lack of anti-tank brigades most unfortunate. . . for you.
Re: (Score:2)
Which is a shame, because even if Darth Vader were real then electing him couldn't exactly be worse than being ruled by old Vladolf Putler.
At least Darth didn't hate people just for being born gay for example. At least with Darth it was purely about hating freedom and wanting an empire.
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah, Vader can be pretty much summed up with, "Serve me, or die."
I like that. Makes it easy for a man to know where he stands with the Big Guy.
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Hint: It's not the sex that makes you gay. It's genetic.
But you're obviously too stupid to understand this topic, because apparently some people are also born to be stupid given you provide a perfect example.
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
It's not the point of diagnosis of a genetic trait that defines your genetics. If someone is born with a pre-disposition to violence they have a pre-disposition to violence at birth, the fact that trait is not exhibited until later in life does not change the fact they have that trait.
Being a violent person and having a pre-disposition to violence are two different things, just as being born homosexual is different to performing homosexual acts, it's possible to be gay without ever even engaging in a homose
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
You're still really confused about this, aren't you?
I'll try one last time.
Gay isn't a thing you do, it's a thing you are.
"To put it another way, what's the difference between a non-gay person and a gay person who doesn't exhibit homosexual behaviour? There's no difference."
Well one is not gay, and the other is gay. That's the difference. Even if the gay one doesn't actively carry out homosexual acts, they're still attracted to people of the same sex, just as the non-gay person is attracted to people of the
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
You know it's far easier to just admit you're wrong rather than to try and play games with semantics right? Carrying on just makes you look even more stupid than when you failed to grasp even basic biology.
Really, you should probably just stop making yourself look ever more dumb about now.
Have you considered going to a different site? this site is for science and tech news, as you don't grasp basic science it's probably not really for you.
Re: (Score:1)
You know that "this site is for science and tech news", so then why did you make a diatribe against a political leader whose view you happen to not agree with? Is it scientific to insult and call people names?
In conclusion, I win.
Re: (Score:2)
The only thing you win at is being repeatedly retarded, so congratulations on that if it makes you feel better.
Hint: If someone's repeatedly insulting you, perhaps it's because you're idiotic and ignorant enough to deserve it. Being insulted doesn't make you right, it just means you're so far off base that someone has lost patience trying to even deal with your level of retardedness in a less offensive manner.
But it's okay, your posting history alone demonstrates you hate gay people and that's the only reas
Re: (Score:2)
No, if your fathers genes were expressed exactly in you you would be a clone of your father. That's not how reproduction works, you have a chance of inheriting different traits from your father, your mother, and their ancestors before them. That means yes, you have a chance of inheriting your father's sexuality, but you also have a chance of not doing so, you could inherit your mothers sexuality, either of your grandparents, or even your great grandparents.
This is fairly basic biology, I'm amazed on a site
Presidential candidates (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3)
Suddenly Vader looks quite like he was the humane choice...
Too soon (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
April first: the day to ignore absolutly everything you see on the internet.
Re: (Score:1)
Wouldn't Darth be... (Score:2)
...Romanian? Oh, that's the good Count!
So Darth is from Ukraine? Who'd have thunk it?
Re: (Score:2)
...Romanian? Oh, that's the good Count!
So Darth is from Ukraine? Who'd have thunk it?
I thought he was from somewhere along Lucas Valley Road in Marin County, California.
A few years ago I went hiking in the hills above the ranch. Had my telephoto lens and everything, ready to take some really awesome pictures.
Such a let down. No Death Star, no storm troupers, not even a stinkin' Ewok. I was nearly traumatized, but for finding a Lesser Nighthawk hiding at the base of a boulder my afternoon was salvaged.
No, what sucks is this! (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
"This is not the candidate you're looking for..."
Does the whole Jedi Mind Trick thing work through the TV?
What is the problem here? (Score:1)
A Sith wants to take over a small country, it doesn't seem to be an issue in my head.
It isn't like there is a power-hungry "politician" nearby who controls vast areas like an emperor.
Wait a second... Putin is the Sith Lord, Vader is his apprentice.
We need this Vader to destroy the emperor! He is the only one who can restore balance force!!!
Re: (Score:2)
You're dreaming of part 6 and we barely started part 4 yet...
Re: (Score:2)
It's not a fee, it's a deposit. It is returned to the candidate after the elections, unless he doesn't get a certain minimum amount of votes, and is meant to discourage random people from running as a publicity stunt (which is especially a problem when elections are publicly funded otherwise). Most countries have it, but few set it that high.
In Ukraine, the deposit used to be $50k, but it was increased 5x in 2010 under Yanukovich. The same law that did it also added a stipulation that it is only returned to
Re: (Score:1)
Masked Leaders (Score:2)
Yeah, why not have masked leaders with digital voice changers.... Couldn't be worse then we have now :/
Re: (Score:3)
With some, a voice changer would actually be an improvement. Let alone a mask.
ain't gonna happen (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Just rename Kiew to Disneytown and hand them royalties, and everything's peachy with the Mickey Mafia.
this has possibilities... (Score:2)
Imperial March (Score:4, Insightful)
Probably the most sane candidate out there (Score:2)
This may sound funny, but I'm serious, compared to current candidate line-up - Darth is the most sane of them all, compared to Yarosh, Timoshenko and Poroshenko he is much less extreme. If I had Ukrainian citizenship - I would definitely vote for him versus other right and ultra-right candidates.
Cthulhu should run for office, too! (Score:3)
Makes sense. (Score:4, Insightful)
When every other candidate is certifiably loopy, there's a pretty low bar for competing with them.
Toronto mayoral candidates are currently running on platforms of smoking weed in office but not crack, getting publicly drunk without threatening to kill anyone, and only urinating in public where there are no cameras around [nationalpost.com].
Sadly, all of these promises put them ahead of the incumbent.
President Vader's emphatic veto (Score:1)
Just Great (Score:3)
First they had fascists in the government and now they'll have Sith. At the very least they should get Magneto as defence minister and fill the army up with Cylons.
What we know... (Score:3)
is that Darth Vader managed to commit massive violations of civil and human rights and have probably the two most costly military projects in history fail on his watch, despite which he was completely ineffective in his counter-terrorism policy. His career as a public servant was a series of disasters.
So, about the same as most Earth politicians.
Darth Vader? (Score:1)
Wait, I thought the Darth Vader was already the guy in charge in Russia.