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It's funny. Laugh. Democrats

Football Fans For Truth 118

Posted by pudge from the oh-you-did-it-now dept.
Football Fans For Truth, a real 527 organization, has updated their site with more evidence showing that John Kerry is not a true sports fan or athlete. Among the charges: he doesn't know the name of the venerable home of the Green Bay Packers, he "throws a football like a girl," and he "can't catch a football at all." Not limiting themselves to football, they also provide plenty of evidence he doesn't know much about baseball.
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Football Fans For Truth More

Football Fans For Truth

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  • Or else they might seriously base their vote on who knows sports better. ;) Anyways, the next stop on the road to removing corporate influence from politics: restricting 527 organizations. Who's interested in trying to get that to happen?

  • So What... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by ThePilgrim ( 456341 ) on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @04:39AM (#10371581) Homepage
    The election is for Presedent, not head coach.
    • The appearance of leadership (Bush facing down terra/tourists) is more important than actuall leadership. Notice Tom Osbourn is a Senator after 20+ years of coaching Nebraska. I'm shocked Steve Largent (wide receiever from Tulsa) didn't win the governor spot in Oklahoma, however Barry Switzer was behind Brad Carson (our governor). I'd be willing to bet if Bo Schembeckler (sp?) ran for governor of Michigan he'd win.

      Popularity matters more than ethics, implementing sound policies, saving troops lives by not
    • Need new moderation category: "Didn't get the joke"

  • Big Fat Deal (Score:4, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @04:44AM (#10371602)
    Ok, so John Kerry claims to like football, but he isn't a hardcore football fan. Who cares.

    I consider myself to be a NASCAR fan. I can tell you that I root for Mayfield and Kahne (despite driving a Chevy myself ;). I can tell you that I don't have much respect for Dale Junior, that I think Tony Stewart has a serious attitude problem, and that I'd love to see Mark Martin's Viagra-endorsing self win the cup again. I watch the race almost every week. But beyond that, I can't tell you much.

    There are people out there who could tell you, from memory, Junior's last five wins, which tracks they were at, which months they took place. There are people who could tell you how many yards Brett Favre has passed for in his last 10 games, what team he was up against in each of those games, and who the opposing QB was.

    There are people who could recite all kinds of NASCAR stats, or football stats, or baseball stats, or QuakeCon winners, because they're obsessed.

    John Kerry "throws like a girl?" GWB was a freakin' cheerleader. Let's see the "Football Fans for Truth" post that on their front page...
    • John Kerry "throws like a girl?" GWB was a freakin' cheerleader. Let's see the "Football Fans for Truth" post that on their front page...

      Just more evidence that GWB is a better football fan!

      Why are you taking this site seriously anyways? I just figured it's a spoof of SBV4T.

      • I just figured it's a spoof of SBV4T.


        A spoof of those folks is like a spoof of Heinreich Himmler and his SS. Its hard to get humor out of something that ugly.
  • Did I miss something?

    Granted, I'm not in one of the swing states, I live in Tennessee... So I have yet to see a Kerry ad on TV, all I've seen are Bush commercials. However, I've tried to keep up with both campaigns online, not only at their own websites but in terms of political discussion elsewhere. I don't recall hearing that Kerry ever claimed to be a pro football player, or even an expert about football. What did I miss?

    In November, I'm going to be voting for my choice of presidential candidates (amon

    • Re:What the Fuck? (Score:4, Informative)

      by Sailor Coruscant ( 713289 ) on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @05:04AM (#10371681) Homepage
      You missed the fact that it's a parody of the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth campaign.

      • You missed the fact that it's a parody of the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth campaign.

        Gah, you're right. The "foot" icon never registered, I just clicked through to the Politics section and saw the story. Since the Politics topic has been entirely serious since its inauguration here - I think this story is the first presence of "it's funny, laugh" in the section - I figured this story was describing yet another baseless 527 attack on Kerry.

        Sorry, it's 5AM and I've been up since 9AM yesterday, with a dental

        • > I figured this story was describing yet another baseless 527 attack on Kerry.

          Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are far from baseless. They've already gotten Kerry to concede on a few points, and haven't had any of their accusations disproven. I mean, there's:
          • Kerry's story about how Nixon sent him to Cambodia during Christmas, and how this was "seared, seared" in his memory. Only now we find out that he was never in Cambodia, and Nixon wasn't even president then anyways.
          • It was also seared in his
          • Honestly, I don't care what the fuck happened in Vietnam. If either of them tried to get out of it GOOD FOR THEM. I would have done the same. If anything, you get bonus points in my book for trying like hell to dodge getting shot at in the piss hole that was Vietnam. Further, even if I did care, there is the point that both of these men were boys. If you are in college, chances are you are older then Kerry or Bush were when they did their tours in the armed services.

            The real issue is that both of them
          • I think you'd better start getting your information from more than just freepers. You've got some serious errors here. Also, you clearly know how to use href tags; why not attempt to substantiate some of your claims?
            • Kerry's story about how Nixon sent him to Cambodia during Christmas, and how this was "seared, seared" in his memory. Only now we find out that he was never in Cambodia, and Nixon wasn't even president then anyways.

            Wrong on several counts; he never said Nixon sent him -- here's [wizbangblog.com] an anti

            • (1) I wish I had mod points so I could move you up.
              (2) I wish your parent post would try to respond to your logic. I hate it when people make all of these extreme complaints yet will not support them with any evidence and then they are modded up!
              (3) I wouldn't even give him credit for the MLK Jr. thing. His post was written to imply that Kerry was still in the US when it happened (rather than active duty near Vietnam). It was deceptively and maliciously worded. I would say that about the only thing h
          • And the Big Lie Machine rolls on.....

            (no point in responding to your BS, elwinc has already done so.)
    • It's a parody. Laugh.

  • So what (Score:3, Funny)

    by Lars T. ( 470328 ) <.moc.liamelgoog. .ta. .regearT.sraL.> on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @05:08AM (#10371701) Journal
    Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth [pleasurecaptains.com]: George W. Bush is no party animal. And never was.
  • I don't care what my President does in his spare time. Baseball, football, windsurfing ... hell, as far as I'm concerned he can while away the hours doing homoerotic needlepoint.

    Just as long as he doesn't invade other countries under false pretenses. That's all. I'm not setting the bar very high here.

  • Seems we all need to acknowledge that the Youth International Party was right along: Pigasus for President!

  • Questionable origins of the "Eddie Yost" story (Score:5, Informative)

    by elwinc ( 663074 ) on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @05:39AM (#10371799)
    I've been in an email discussion about the "Eddie Yost" story -- the claim that several years ago, Kerry claimed his favorite Red Sox player was Eddie Yost, who coached for the Sox but never played there. Here's what I've dug up:

    First Mention is in this 7/15/04 Peter Gammons piece. [go.com] Most of it is about Baseball, but here's the relevant paragraph:

    Thing called love

    We have been led to cynically believe that many politicians are disingenuous and generally phony, but few will ever beat Massachusetts Senator John Kerry. This man, who changed his middle initial to be JFK and at an anti-Vietnam rally threw someone else's medals into the water, made a self-promotion appearance with Boston talk-show maven Eddie Andelman and claimed he was a big Red Sox fan from his days growing up in Groton, Mass. And at the promotion he said Eddie Yost was his favorite player.

    This remarkable paragraph contains three assertions about Kerry: "middle initial", "medals", and "Yost." The first two are erroneous, and the third is not testable. "Middle initial" is false -- Kerry's middle name is his mother's maiden name, Forbes, a famous old Boston name. Gammons has an error in his "medals" story, Kerry threw ribbons over a fence; not medals in the water. You can read Thomas Oliphant's eyewitness account here [boston.com] or here. [slapnose.com] To summarize, Gammons makes three assertions about Kerry, and the first to are erroneous. What about the third? I don't know any way to prove a negative, but the very first mention of the "Yost" story that I can find, in Boston or anywhere else, is that 7/15 Gammons column. It's all over the blogsphere now, but Gammons has first mention. Given Gammons' other errors, I don't find it very credible.

    Now just to complicate matters, Gammons brings up the "Yost" story again five days later in another column. [go.com] Again, it's mostly about baseball, but here's the relevant paragraph:

    So who puts the bug in candidates' ears about seeming what they are not? John Kerry last week professed to be a big fan of "Manny Ortez," then re-emphasized the phoofery by correcting it to "David Ortez." No, that was Dave (Baby) Cortez and "The Happy Organ." A few years back Kerry went on a Boston station with Eddie Andelman and said "my favorite Red Sox player of all time is The Walking Man, Eddie Yost," who never played for the Red Sox. Kerry is going to sweep New England. He's going to get 70 percent of the vote in Massachusetts. He doesn't have to be a Red Sox fan, all he has to do is not be John Ashcroft.

    This time, the "Yost" story is folded in with less controversial claims. If you're an anti-Kerry blogger, this version looks less foolish, but given the first mention amongst two canards, I don't find it credible on Gammons' say-so alone. I say bring me independent confirmation or dump it.

    And now a bit on the meta-story. Let me shamelessy copy the Daily Howler [dailyhowler.com] and quote David Broder: [washingtonpost.com]

    In a year when war in Iraq, the threat of terrorism and looming problems with the federal budget and the nation's health care system cry out for serious debate, the news organizations on which people should be able to depend have been diverted into chasing sham events: a scurrilous and largely inaccurate attack on the Vietnam service of John Kerry and a forged document charging President Bush with disobeying an order for an Air National Guard physical.

    Almost. Ladies and gentleman, we're watching a brilliant campaign at

    • Re:Questionable origins of the "Eddie Yost" story (Score:5, Insightful)

      by pudge ( 3605 ) * <slashdot@pudge. n e t> on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @10:35AM (#10374115) Homepage Journal
      First, jeez, lighten up. Anyone who would put this much thought into the actual truth of the story has some issues. It's a joke. Maybe it is true, maybe it is not, but either way, it's funny.

      Second, we know Kerry doesn't even the names of the two star hitters on the Red Sox, thinking they are one person. That's far worse than thinking Yost played for the Sox, even if it is not true.

      Third, you can't be serious about the forgeries. We know beyond any reasonable doubt that they are forgeries. Any criminal jury would have returned a quick verdict on this one. There is no open question remaining, except who did it. The only people saying they still believe they are authentic are Burkett and CBS: CBS' own experts, the secretary from the base, Killian's family and colleagues from the base, all say it is not real. If you put half the effort into investigating the memos as you have the Yost story, you would know they are forgeries.

      Fourth, of course the criticisms about Kerry are about what he says, because he hasn't done anything. Kerry himself rarely talks about what he has done (except in Vietnam), because there's nothing there of interest. Further, I don't know how you can consider what Bush has done in Iraq a substantive issue, but the fact that Kerry has completely reversed his position on Iraq is not (e.g., the invasion was "the right decision" in May 2003, but now it is "the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time"). How is this not substantive, when he might be taking over responsibility for the war, and we don't know where he stands on it?

      Fifth, there's nothing unpatriotic about having some fun and making jokes. You're humourless, and that is your problem, not ours.

      • Fourth, of course the criticisms about Kerry are about what he says, because he hasn't done anything. Kerry himself rarely talks about what he has done (except in Vietnam), because there's nothing there of interest.

        More of the Big Lie machine... Just because the Rabid Right says Kerry "hasn't said anything" doesn't make it true. It is in your interest to keep the argument on something like Vietnam rather than let Kerry turn the debate back to Iraq or the economy. Its the *Right* who keeps screaming tha

        • More of the Big Lie machine... Just because the Rabid Right says Kerry "hasn't said anything" doesn't make it true.

          I never said he hasn't said anything. I said he hasn't *done* anything. And of course that's hyperbole, but the fact is that Kerry doesn't have much of a record in the Senate. If he did, he would run on his record in the Senate, but he mostly runs on what he says and thinks, and what he did in Vietnam, and not what he did in the Senate.

          It is in your interest to keep the argument on somet

          • And of course that's hyperbole,

            If you know its hyperbole then why say it?

            doesn't have much of a record in the Senate

            Thats your opinion about his record, however, the fact is he *does* have a record, therefore he *has* done something, so whether its "said" or "done", the implication is still false.


            I do not do that. I do not argue about Vietnam,

            I've never heard anyone say Kerry hasn't said anything.

            Ok, maybe not you specifically, but I *have* heard people (here in politics.slashdot.org) say Kerry

            • If you know its hyperbole then why say it?

              Uh ... huh? Is there some rule against using hyperbole?

              Thats your opinion about his record, however, the fact is he *does* have a record, therefore he *has* done something, so whether its "said" or "done", the implication is still false.

              Uh ... huh? Hyperbole is intentional exaggeration that is not meant to be taken literally. There was no false implication. Do you speakee zee Eenglish?

              Ok, maybe not you specifically, but I *have* heard people (here in pol
      • pudge: First, jeez, lighten up...
        OK, I'll try. It's hard, given the number of falsehoods being circulated these days, and the amount of misdirection, but I'll try.

        pudge: Second ... two star hitters ...
        I plead nolo contendere on that one! On the other hand, Bush doesn't know the name of his star Supreme Court Justice Anthony/Antonio Scalia! [216.239.41.104] And I could argue that Antonin Scalia counts as at least 1.8 Supreme Court justices because Clarence Thomas votes with him over 80% of the time! Which wou

        • Which would you rather have, a President who didn't know his hometown baseball stars, or a President who didn't know who was on the Supreme Court?

          You must not know very many Red Sox fans, because the answer is obvious, and it is not what you think.

          I seriously think there's not enough information to draw a firm conclusion, and that's what I wrote.

          And I seriously think this shows you have not been paying attention.

          My point is that no reputable expert is going to swear beyond the shadow of a doubt base
          • You must not know very many Red Sox fans, because the answer is obvious, and it is not what you think.

            Evidence, please? For the last 12 years I've lived within 10 miles of Fenway Park. Most of the people I associate with are Red Sox fans. The vast majority also support Kerry. For your information, Massachusetts, ground zero of Red Sox Nation, supports Kerry over Bush by 64% to 27% according to electoral-vote.com. VT, CT and RI are also Kerry states, while ME and NH are swings. It's clear that New

            • Evidence, please?

              I lived most of my life, 20 years, in SE Mass. And most people there only vote Democratic because they historically do. Also, no one with a brain can honestly believe Bush doesn't know who is on the Supreme Court, while it is pretty clear Kerry has his head up his ass about the Sox. Besides, again, I was using hyperbole, obviously.

              Moving glyphs on the same line up and down? Bull. Show me or retract.

              Yes, and no, look it up yourself.

              Well, I criticised you on what you had said

              Yes,
              • I lived most of my life, 20 years, in SE Mass. And most people there only vote Democratic because they historically do.
                Impressive mind reading. Thanks for giving them credit for being independent people whose substantial life experience may have led them to disagree with you!

                Yes, and no, look it up yourself.
                In graduate school, I took a number of courses covering linear algebra and machine vision. I'm familiar with affine & perspective transforms, edge finders, Wiener filtering, blind deconv

                • No, he said disarming Saddam was the right decision.

                  You're lying.

                  MR. STEPHANOPOULOS: And Senator Kerry, the first question goes to you. On March 19th, President Bush ordered General Tommy Franks to execute the invasion of Iraq. Was that the right decision at the right time?

                  SENATOR JOHN KERRY (D-MA): George, I said at the time I would have preferred if we had given diplomacy a greater opportunity, but I think it was the right decision to disarm Saddam Hussein. And when the president made the decision, I s

                  • You're lying.
                    No, I'm just not taking your narrow and slanted interpretation of Kerry's words. Kerry said "... and I support the fact that we did disarm him." He's supports the fact of disarming Saddam. He's explicitly withholding support for Bush's way of disarming Saddam. Is this really so hard to see?

                    No, it does not. That's the problem. It mentions a high deficit, but does not say how this is a flip-flop. Same thing with Medicare problems, and the emphasis on Hussein and Iraq. It's one thing t

                    • My bad.
                      When I wrote He's explicitly withholding support for Bush's way of disarming Saddam. I should have said "He's explicitly withholding support for Bush's unilateral way of disarming Saddam." Let's take it from the top. You quote Kerry as saying:

                      George, I said at the time I would have preferred if we had given diplomacy a greater opportunity, but I think it was the right decision to disarm Saddam Hussein. And when the president made the decision, I supported him, and I support the fact that we

                    • Opposing campaign finance reform, then supporting it?

                      He did not oppose campaign finance reform. He opposed some ways of doing it, and there was compromise.

                      Reversing himself on the Dept. of Homeland Security?

                      Same thing again. He wanted it done one way, the Congress wanted it done another. In the end, knowing he could not fight the overwhelming majority in Congress, he worked with them. Big deal.

                      Reversing himself on the 9/11 commission?

                      This is the most laughable of all. He was ALWAYS in favor o
                    • Good. OK, then we're agreed: neither candidate has ever reversed himself or changed his mind in any way that's the least bit detrimental, and any claims that either candidate did so are just so much partisan claptrap.
    • It's funny because Peter Gammons looks like John Kerry's dad.
  • jeez... lighten up you left-wing zealots... It's just a joke (and a funny one, too).

    If you are not too humor impaired to enjoy a more 'balanced' piece of humor check out Jib Jab [jibjab.com].

    • Re:lighten up! (Score:1, Troll)

      by elwinc ( 663074 )
      Sure, I can lighten up. My kids are not yet at risk of dying on foreign soil due to Whitehouse blunders. But what do you say to the families of those who died? Are you gonna tell them that it's OK to ignore Iraq and joke about Eddie Yost? If the news were filled with substantive discussions about the candidates' proposals on Iraq, health care, and deficits, I'd be more tolerant of these jokes. But the news is mostly about jokes, and I find it a crying shame.

      • Re:lighten up! (Score:4, Insightful)

        by rhild ( 659603 ) on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @05:58AM (#10371872) Homepage
        "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." - George Bernard Shaw
      • But what do you say to the families of those who died?

        Not to sound harsh, but the military is still a volunteer organization... And I don't know what civilian doesn't know that Iraq is a dangerous place at the moment. WTF are you doing over there if you're not prepared to risk your life?

        However, any death is bad, yadda yadda. It would be nice if the whole thing could have been settled over crumpetts and tea, but that just wasn't an option...
        • The overwhelming majority of veterans, families, and soldiers (in and out of Iraq) that I've met are Bush supporters. I find this "what do you say to the families" question to be extraordinarily condescending, as if this moron knows better than the families who support Bush do.
          • Well, ask the ones caught by Bush's stealth draft, after they had served their time, including in Iraq, getting out and thinking their service was over, but who are now going back to Iraq. I'm not at all sure its an "overwhelming majority" anymore. A majority yes, but overwhelming?
            • I've met some of those, yes, and they overwhelmingly support Bush (though I know some do not, of course). Again, this is just my personal experience, as I said.
        • but the military is still a volunteer organization...

          Don't worry, give Bush another 4 years and he'll take care of that "problem" too.
    • A liberal with a sense of humor is a mythical being.

  • Yay! (Score:3, Funny)

    by EnglishTim ( 9662 ) on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @05:54AM (#10371854)
    He's a True Nerd then....
  • It's nice to know he doesn't waste his time being sucked down into the brain numbing, wallet emptying, taxpayer raping, felon creating crap that is professional sports.

    I'd much rather have a President that uses his time for personal and intellectual diversions rather than one that chokes on a pretzel while watching some mass-market crap aired on that most Republican of channels, Fox.

  • Yeah, well.. (Score:3, Funny)

    by WhatAmIDoingHere ( 742870 ) <sexwithanimals@gmail.com> on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @06:21AM (#10371950) Homepage
    I dare Bush and Kerry to a Linux install contest!

  • You know... (Score:4, Funny)

    by dmayle ( 200765 ) * on Tuesday September 28, 2004 @06:38AM (#10372052) Homepage Journal

    You know, Slashdot has been a lot more fun since they added this new humour section. I don't always find all of the jokes to be great, and I still don't get why there's an American flag for a logo, but it's still mostly amusing, nonetheless...

  • At least he can spell and eat a pretzel without requiring medical assistance.

  • I go out with my trusty 12-gauge double-barrel, crawl around on my stomach. I track and move and decoy and play games and try to outsmart them. You know, you kind of play the wind. That's hunting. He hunts deer while crawling around on his stomach?! Kerry is so full of crap.

  • That's a bonus for Kerry. Remember those guys in high school? Quick with a wet towel snap in the locker room, but slow with the wit in English or Math class. Those football guys were assholes.
  • It's good to see the important issues come out, even if it is only on slashdot. What's even more refreshing is that we can debate such important things like whether a candidate is true to his team, without the conversation getting clutter up with even a single post modated as 'Funny" and a rating over 2. Way to keep focused on the issues Slashdot!

    Oh, and Go Bucks!
  • I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand political campaigns should be serious and about serious issues. Not what candidate is better with photo-ops, or what they did as kids (yes 20 somethings are "kids") 35 years ago.

    On the other hand this kind of jocular sniping has always been part of campaigns and is engaged in by both sides. On the other side we have seen Millionaires for Bush, Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth. Think of this as the Republican equivalent to giant paper maché puppets the far
  • I didn't read the article, not that interested in American politics, but when I first read it, I was certain that it was a Kerry-endorsed spoof of the SVT campaign. Then I start reading the posts and come to the conclusion that this is real! I mean, come on, while I agree that it's important that elected officials not lie (or at least not get caught), we're talking sports here! Does his platform mention NFL reform? How about we look at our politicians in regards to where they stand on issues that they a
  • This isn't about whether or not he can throw a football, its about what he is trying to say. He is fake he is trying to show that he is an average guy when he isn't he is elitist, he doesn't relate to the average union guy, who may never had been on any football teams but know the scores for every game. Think about what they are trying convey not just what stupid things are said, otherwise you will miss what most people catch. Oh and like most of you I also was working on my computer last night instead o
  • Wow, could this be a reason to actually LIKE John Kerry? Someone in this country who shares a similar COMPLETE DISINTEREST in football, baseball, and their moronic fans?

    OMFG Kerry doesn't know the name of a field or how to throw a football - yeah, I'll make sure to remember that when I'm voting on real issues like illegitimate wars, a gigantic and profligate government deficit, growing trade imbalance, continual erosion of civil liberties, etc.

  • Sad Truth (Score:3, Interesting)

    by ltsmash ( 569641 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:05PM (#10388654)
    It's unfortunate, but this article should not be in the "Funny" section. Most experts on politics agree that having a "macho" images is very important for both of the candidates. So, while we all laugh at this, a lot of swing voters will pick the guy who seems more "manly".

    This is probably going to get modded as flame bait, but compare how many photo-ops that Bush and Kerry have showing them doing some sort of physical activity, and then see how many they have posing with groups that demand truth about the Iraq war and 9-11, truths that many of us consider sacred.

    The point is, you're blind to American politics if you write physical image off as inconsequential.

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