Majority of Americans Think Obama Is Better Suited To Handle an Alien Invasion 305
Geoffrey.landis writes "At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel, done to tout their upcoming TV series 'chasing UFOs'. In follow-up questioning, Americans would rather call on the Hulk (21%) than either Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to save the day. No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates)." The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
Yeah It Was in that Last Debate on ONN (Score:5, Funny)
Mitt Romney: Simple, I'd shoot them.
Mediator: And to you, Mr. President, how would you handle an alien invasion?
Barack Obama: *pauses* Instead of shooting where they are
Crowd: *breaks out in rapturous applause*
Mitt Romney: Oh, come on, of course that's what I meant as well. I mean, I'd probably have the military figure all that out or pay someone in rubies or chickens or beads or whatever the hell it is you poor people are spending at Wal-Mart these days.
Crowd: *boos loudly*
Crowd Member #1: Oh, that Romney, I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
Crowd Member #2: I've never seen a Mormon kill anyone -- let alone an alien. Have you?
Crowd Member #3: I'd bet all my Wal-Mart rubies he doesn't win.
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Thank You, sir.
You stay classy Eldavojohn...
It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Funny)
Of course Obama can handle Aliens a lot better than anybody else !
Obama himself is an Alien - that guy is from Kenya, isn't he?
Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Informative)
Of course Romney's human. You might not like him, but that does not change reality.
You do understand that they are joking, don't you?
Also, Obama's true citizenship matters a great deal. It's a matter of law. You might not like that either, but unfortunately your personal opinions don't change reality.
Court challenges to his eligibility have (so far) failed. That is the present reality.
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Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Insightful)
Not likely (Score:4, Funny)
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It would be mutually assured destruction. Don't forget she has a Snuke.
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True, or vote for Kodos.
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Well I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Funny)
So he says, but have you ever been to Hawaii? Are you sure Hawaii exists? And even if it does exist, how do we know it's a state? Have you seen the papers that established the state of Hawaii or just reproductions of these so-called papers.
This is why the only person who is really equipped to handle an alien invasion is America's Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. If the aliens land in Maricopa County, they'll say, "Gawd it's hot here, and the people are assholes! Let's go back to that Nazi base on the dark side of the Moon. Those guys know how to party!" Then, they'd give Arpaio the finger and engage their warp engines.
[As a side note, I really don't want to go read this article, but can we agree that the National Geographic should be absolutely ashamed of having anything to do with a public opinion poll on which candidate would be best suited to handle an alien invasion? Didn't the National Geographic used to deal with serious topics and occasional pictures of pygmy breasts? What's the deal? I mean, Alexander Graham Bell was one of the first presidents of the National Geographic Society for chrissake. The History Channel, I can understand. They're just a cable TV network, so they've got zero credibility, but the National Geographic? I've got one of their topographical maps of the oceans taped to my wall right here. I actually learned stuff from the National Geographic at one time.
I guess they figured that the US presidential race still needed a little more triviality and bullshit. Sometimes, I can really understand why so many people believe our culture is in such a steep decline. Are we sure that it's not a typo and was supposed to say "National Enquirer" instead of National Geographic? I guess at least we can be sure it wasn't Rasmussen or Fox News doing the poll, because then the headline would have said "Americans trust Romney more than Obama to protect nation from alien threat by a jillion percent!" Then, they'd show pictures of the two candidates with the photo of Obama darkened and the caption, "Osama - (D)"]
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What's the deal?
Two words: Imaginary Geographic [nationalgeographic.com]
Re:It makes a lot of sense ! (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, and we probably kicked your country's ass on the way there. Ain't it a bitch?
Don't worry, we'll still sell you blue jeans and movies.
Because secretly... (Score:2, Funny)
...they hope the aliens take him away!
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Missile defense never worked. Not once. Obama has pushed the funding into weapons programs that may work.
To the contrary on both: there was just a successful test, and Obama has been funding missile defense, including funding deployment of missile defense.
Missile defense isn't any longer an issue on which there is significant difference between Republicans and Democrats.
Vasquez's problem? (Score:5, Funny)
He thought they mean illegal aliens?
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They definitely meant alien invasion from the south(for lifestyle) or north(for healthcare). If anyone from another planet came here, they would pass on by thinking we are a bunch of argumentative assholes
Yes, but *yummy* argumentative assholes...
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According to the packaging: 43% lips, 39% assholes, 17% inorganic matter, 1% "natural flavorings".
Maybe I should stop buying Bar S hotdogs...
NatGeo channel's really gone downhill (Score:5, Insightful)
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows.
Yeah I know. Complain, complain. Well I can't help if all these channels start looking alike, instead of their original mission. NOW I spend most of my time watching the free broadcast channels: RetroTV, ThisTV, AntennaTV..... they are what AMC and TVland used to be. (Though it's probably only a matter of time til they jump-the-shark and start inserting reality shows.)
Let's Not Be Too Hasty (Score:3)
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows. Yeah I know. Complain, complain
Well, let's not be too hasty now. I mean, what if they did a crossover where some of the animals from NatGeo join the casts of the other channel reality shows? I'd like to see a grizzly bear mix things up a bit on the Jersey Shore. Especially with those night vision cameras they have in the rooms. I mean, the "people" on those shows are already behaving pretty much like bonobo chimps.
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They ARE bonobo chimps. The channels have been doing these wildlife crossovers for years! (After Pink and The Brain retired from starring in cartoons, they went on to scriptwrite for CSPAN. The Family Guy is actually directed by Flipper the dophin. Fox News is not named such by accident.)
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Excuse me good sir but I found this "y" at the bottom of the page. I believe it is yours?
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"the "people" on those shows are already behaving pretty much like bonobo chimps."
Is this some kind of Republican crack against our president??? (justkidding)
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Re:NatGeo channel's really gone downhill (Score:5, Insightful)
It seems that reality tv shows are the cheapest programming you can make.
"Actors" that are just amazed they are on television and if you tell them they will get paid even half as much again as their current yearly salary they start humping the programming directors leg.
Meanwhile, the big, classically trained in NYC, celebrity actors bitch about the wrong color M&Ms in their custom trailers and just when does their salary go to 1 million dollars per episode.
No big loss to me. It's not like I was that into television in the first place. I'll miss the sci-fi shows and documentaries, but that will just make want to watch the documentaries on Netflix even more.
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It seems that reality tv shows are the cheapest programming you can make.
"Actors" that are just amazed they are on television and if you tell them they will get paid even half as much again as their current yearly salary they start humping the programming directors leg.
Meanwhile, the big, classically trained in NYC, celebrity actors bitch about the wrong color M&Ms in their custom trailers and just when does their salary go to 1 million dollars per episode.
No big loss to me. It's not like I was that into television in the first place. I'll miss the sci-fi shows and documentaries, but that will just make want to watch the documentaries on Netflix even more.
Refer my sig ... nuff said.
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I bet you most reality stars would work for subsistence. Most of them are in it for the instant publicity they can usually parlay into all kinds of insane deals. K Kardashian parlayed a staged sex tape (now the mainstay of D-list wannabe starlets) into a megamillion dollar empire built on nothing but fame. I watched a reality dating show years ago where the participants openly talked about how their stints would open doors for them. How many aspiring actors are on these shows anyway? Even the survivor
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This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows.
Tell me about it - we had "Nostradamus" or some such nonsense on NatGeo (or 'History'). What the heck....
Krugman predicted this. (Score:3)
Well, sorta.
Re:Krugman just want to spend more money in it ! (Score:5, Insightful)
Especially if it's other people's money.
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In fact, from what I see around, that is the main argument against him.
Re:Krugman just want to spend more money in it ! (Score:5, Insightful)
I think it takes a special kind of naivite to think that with an annual national deficit of $1.3 trillion dollars and a national debt of $15 trillion, we are "hoarding money".
Krugman is advocating spending money we don't have, money we need to borrow and repay at significant interest rates, or money we need to remove from the economy through taxation. Either is a bad idea.
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Krugman is making a very salient point: The cost of borrowing money is cheaper now than it ever has been or likely will ever be again. If we don't borrow it now, when?
Borrow money now to fix the economy and infrastructure, and when we're back on our feet then we pay it back. You don't repay debts when you're broke and out of a job; you first get an income and a stable roof over your head, then you worry about paying your debtors. It's a pretty simple concept.
Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion (Score:4, Funny)
(only partially joking...but I've got karma to burn)
Re:Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion (Score:5, Funny)
I've got karma to burn
On Slashdot, saying that pretty much guarantees you'll be modded up to +5, no matter what else you said.
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The GP is well aware of that.
Re:Obama's Response To An Alien Invasion (Score:5, Funny)
Let's try it with an AC post... I've got karma to burn.
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Certainly we know he would do all of this, plus allowing our foreign invaders to vote.
By executive order!
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He did not need Osama, someone from the party will cast a absentee vote for him this year.
In the words of Nick Fury (Score:2)
"You think you're the only politician in the world? Mr. Obama, you've become part of a bigger universe."
I'd totally watch that movie/reality.
How Obama would handle Galactus. (Score:2)
> The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He'd come to the table with "You can only eat half the planet." And manage to walk away with Galactus agreeing to spare 10%.
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He'd just tell Galactus that most of the planet is really made of tofu.
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Comment removed (Score:3, Insightful)
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They ruined that this morning with another pointless Raspberry Pi article.
But I agree. The only thing more retarded than this would be a "Who Would Win In A No-Rules Cage Match - Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Job's Zombie?"
barack ack ack (Score:5, Funny)
Re:barack ack ack (Score:5, Funny)
Why can't we all just.....get along?
How will Fox spin it? (Score:2)
They'll probably get Palin to come on VanSusteran's show to take up for Romney. "Pallin' around with space aliens."
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I think Palin would do pretty well. I saw a bit about her handling a couple of Russians.
I saw her guy handling a couple of turkeys.
Yes, but WHICH alien invaders? (Score:2)
I mean, the ones from Mars only need a recording of Tom Jones to defeat them, but you need three juvenile delinquents to defeat The Tripods. Everyone knows that.
Whatever.. (Score:2)
Code Brown (Score:2)
lets be real, no president would be able to do anything about it.
The US is powerful when it's beating the crap out of other humans but against an extraterrestrial intelligence that spans the galaxy?
That's a code brown situation.
Re:Code Brown (Score:4, Insightful)
lets be real, no president would be able to do anything about it.
The US is powerful when it's beating the crap out of other humans but against an extraterrestrial intelligence that spans the galaxy?
It's ok; I would probably side with you guys. A lot of us have gone native. And you really are a lot further along than you think. For example, the same technology you use for DLP televisions could be used to create rapidly oscillating microscopic mirrors to generate virtual particles. With a bit of tuning and using lasers for selection/detection, you could use them to pull up wormholes out of the quantum foam (the trick is stabilizing them with negative matter. But wormholes already have negative curvature and thus are negative matter, so you can use the rejected ones to "feed" the one you want to select).
Oops; I'm rambling. Anyway, the point is that you guys almost have Q-drive, with smaller cores than anything the rest of the galaxy can offer. That and BBQ pretty much means you guys don't have to worry about any kind of extinction attacks. When the aliens arrive, send them to Texas and for Great Maker's sake don't offer them chili with beans in it; you have no idea how offensive that is.
Obama and Galacticus (Score:2)
I'm pretty sure Obama would grant Galactus work visa and a Social Security number, and defend his right to eat the Earth under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
He's probably one of them. (Score:2)
Of course Americans wouldn't trust Romney to deal with an alien invasion. He's probably one of them.
Obama beats the Zombies (Score:2)
No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates).
Obviously, Obama would be best against the Zombies. Romney would be best against the Vampires. [cracked.com] Or maybe it's the other way around. [utsandiego.com]
of course! (Score:2)
After all he is an "alien" resident, having been born in Kenya and all that ;-)
Duh... what a waste of resources! (Score:2)
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Most Democrats think Mitt Romney himself to be a humanoid
This opinion is not limited to Democrats. Or to Romney.
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I think you've been spending too much time on LDS.org.
Or LSD.org.
thats only because (Score:2)
Misleading summary (Score:3)
The summary doesn't make it totally clear that people would prefer the Hulk rescue them from aliens, not just rescue them in general. It's an important distinction because for the general case, you don't want to have to rely on the Hulk to save you from ANYTHING, because he'll likely destroy all of your property and probably accidentally (or purposefully!) kill you in the process.
Additionally, where's Superman, our home grown invincible alien immigrant, in all this? Has he really fallen so far in public consciousness?
Marketing (Score:2)
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Why would Mitt be AGAINST the aliens? (Score:5, Funny)
Unfair Poll (Score:2, Insightful)
They're confusing Obama with Will Smith.
Yes, I just went there.
Don't Mormons Have More Experience (Score:2)
Yes. It's my premise that I can't tell the difference between Mormons and Scientologists. Thank you for ruining the joke!
But Romney talks to aliens from Kolob (Score:2)
He will just issue them all work permits. (Score:2)
He will just issue them all work permits, as long as they entered the country when they were in their late teens.
majority of americans wrong (Score:2)
I'm pro Obama, but I'm sorry, both candidates are equally unqualified as it's a complete lost cause. We cannot beat a civilization capable of invading us.
Note (Score:2)
Mormons don't believe in Aliens (the ET kind)
I did ask a couple of their missionaries once.
Of course fundie Christians who believe in a 4004bc or so date for creation wouldn't believe in aliens either.
Obama v Galactus (Score:2)
The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He would decree that this evil can only be defeated with mandatory universal health care. It only works if everyone is part of it. Then as the vortex of doom settles over each major city and the Supreme Court strikes his mandate down he'll say, "fine! It only works if most of us are part of it." Then as people are being sucked up into the sky, he'll scream, "I inherited this, you know!"
Both would come a poor second to Chuck Norris (Score:2)
The Subject says all I have to say.
Yay! (Score:2)
...okay...
(QD backs away slowly from the rest of humanity)
Romney is clearly better. (Score:3)
Really? (Score:2)
We're far more likely to be invaded by African Pygmies than Extraterrestrials.
For that matter, despite what Hollywood shows in it's movies, we'd be toast. It would be like a 2 cavemen in a dugout canoe trying to fight the WW2 Allied D-Day Invasion force backed up with 3 nuclear aircraft carriers.
Mukor rules *all* galaxies. (Score:2)
pic [power-of-t...ystals.com]
link [shmups.com]
No Earth Slime has destroyed Mukor...
By the Lords of Kobol, this is a silly question! (Score:2)
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Well, he *could* have made the announcement we were going to Mars *before* we invaded Iraq.
Re:Next question (Score:4, Insightful)
78% believe in angels, 60% or so don't know which coast the Atlantic is on, and 56.8% think it's worth voting for a President, so no.
Re:Next question (Score:5, Funny)
The Atlantic is on the Pacific coast. Right?
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Oh, I think we have bigger things to worry about... 37% of Americans can't find AMERICA on the map.
I really have to wonder though... Mormons believe each person gets their own planet when they die*, and even God has one (Kolob). Romney would probably say "Grandad, is that you?" before being shot in the face with a blaster.
* - "Then will they become Gods...they will never cease to increase and to multiply, worlds without end. When they receive their crowns, their dominions, they then will be prepared to fram
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Yes, which is the whole point. Zombies just aren't any good at fighting space aliens - it's just way too easy for the space aliens to get hold of a witch doctor or shaman and seize control.
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*Rebuke Undead*
Re:Obama's solution? (Score:4, Insightful)
If we mean REAL aliens (from another planet) then that would probably be the best solution - and alien race that can get here across many light years is bound to be so much more advanced than us that they could wipe all our military out before breakfast.
Re:Obama's solution? (Score:4, Insightful)
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While I do think that punching an alien invader in the face is a great way to let them know they are not welcome, I can't help feeling that the rest of your post is, to put it politely, a complete crock of shit.
Gaddafi, Mubarak, Ben Ali and Assad were all pretty much yesterdays men by the time Obama decided he would jump ship to the other side. just like Saddam was best of buddies until he wasn't. The same will apply to the Saudi royal house when the winds of change reach them, regardless of who is in power
A very big mistake there (Score:2)
Until recently it was most definitely an ally taking part in combined actions - remember the "extreme reditions" to Syria and the Syrian miltary action 3 or 4 years back to protect the US embassy? There may not be as much involvement as there is with the US troops in Algeria (now that place is an even worse basket case), but the US intelligence community if not the military has been working directly with their counterparts in Syria as allies in the very recent past.
It's a v
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When the only legal place to meet is a place of worship then that's where a large organised revolt comes from. That's why they get Ayatolla's instead of Attaturks.
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> you bet your ass they'd want Romney.
Oh Hell no. If they are hostile I'd want Capain James Kirk or Captain John "Nuke em all" Sheridan. But since they aren't actually available, and neither is Zombie Reagan, the next best option would be Darth Cheney.
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I'd say he's better suited to handle a bowl of Mac & Cheese and that's as far as I'd go with his qualifications and skill set. lol
That depends.
Not if it's made from Wisconsin cheese. He seems to have problems handling things associated with and/or occurring in Wisconsin lately.
Strat
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Don't be too hard on him. My assessment skills concerning abilities is clearly off as well.
Prior to reading your post, I would have sworn that someone addicted to smoking bath salts could never become lucid enough to post a legible sentence on Slashdot, yet here you are...
Strat
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Obama went into the last election creating the image of being a pacifist and a defender of civil rights. In practice, he has turned out to be neither.