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New Map of Carved Up Arctic 294

Posted by timothy
from the beware-angry-norsemen dept.
thepacketmaster writes "The International Boundaries Research Unit has recently published a new jurisdictional map of the Arctic, using geographic and legal definitions. Now it appears Santa Claus could potentially be Danish. But as pointed out in an article at The Star, more important than St. Nick is 'an area thought to contain one-fifth of the world's undiscovered and recoverable oil and gas resources,' and from this map, Russia has a huge claim in that."
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New Map of Carved Up Arctic

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  • Danish??? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by ChoboMog (917656) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:22AM (#24520909)
    "Now it appears Santa Claus could potentially be Danish." If he lives at the magnetic North Pole, then he's Canadian...
    • by Anonymous Coward on Friday August 08, 2008 @01:59AM (#24521377)

      "Now it appears Santa Claus could potentially be Danish." If he lives at the magnetic North Pole, then he's Canadian...

      Fuckin-A man. I was up there the other day (North Pole's just a couple of kilometres from Toronno), there's a cup holder on his sleigh with an empty Tim Hortons in there, and a Timbits bag on the floor (also empty).

      I went inside, we cracked open a few beers, sat and watched the hockey. Santa reckons he might have enough funding to start his own team in a couple of years; those elves are short, but they're vicious fuckers, fast too. I got money on them making the play-offs in their first year.

      I don't know, does this make Santa Canadian?

      • by theheadlessrabbit (1022587) on Friday August 08, 2008 @02:23AM (#24521481) Homepage Journal

        well, Santa does have a Canadian postal code:

        SANTA CLAUS
        NORTH POLE
        H0H 0H0
        CANADA

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by BPPG (1181851)

      We all know that Santa Claus lives at the North pole. But there's a big difference between precise north and magnetic north, and it's never been made clear which one Santa occupies. While magnetic north has actually passed through Canada and also is predicted to move around true north and towards Siberia anyways [nrcan.gc.ca].

      So, the question is; what's so trollish about this parent?

      • by ChoboMog (917656) on Friday August 08, 2008 @03:38AM (#24521805)

        So, the question is; what's so trollish about this parent?

        Maybe its the closest /. has to "+1 Elf"... :P

      • He lives in true north and spends summers at magnetic north.

        • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

          by snowraver1 (1052510)
          He lives in true north and spends summers at magnetic north.

          I can second this. I am a Canadian and drive my the north pole (True North) on my way to work. The true North Pole has an acutal pole, that is painded red and white like a barbers pole. This is just outside Santa's workshop and is actually his mailbox. (He get's too much mail for a true box, so they just dump all the mail beside the pole. The magnetic north pole, on the other hand has no physical marker on the surface, so santa goes theere
    • by Carthag (643047)

      Psh, Santa lives in Greenland

    • Re:Danish??? (Score:5, Interesting)

      by pmontra (738736) on Friday August 08, 2008 @03:38AM (#24521809) Homepage

      I don't know where he lives, but everybody knows that he rests in Bari, Italy and had a Turkish passport http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas [wikipedia.org]

      Oh well, Turkey wasn't Turkey at the time and we didn't invent passports yet. That's probably why we can't agree on his nationality :-)

    • by EWAdams (953502) on Friday August 08, 2008 @07:50AM (#24522895) Homepage

      The historical record is perfectly clear. He was born in Asia Minor and moved north in Victorian times. The nation of which he was a citizen has long since passed away, so he is now a stateless person. As he lives in international waters he is not subject to any nation's jurisdiction. He has found gainful employment and is regarded as one of the world's best-known brands, with a Q score even higher than that of Paris Hilton.

  • by linzeal (197905)
    Antarctica is not included in the study for NG or oil in those studies. Why? Lets fucking drill there too.
    • by Max Littlemore (1001285) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:46AM (#24521041)

      Speaking as someone from the country with the largest territorial claim over Antarctica, I think it's better not to do any studies or drilling there. That way, when all of the mindless idiots in the world have finished wasting their oil as fuel, we will still have some to make useful and durable things like plastics.

      Idiot.

      • by keeboo (724305)
        You mean Australia? That's ok for me.

        What I find amusing is certain, northern ones, countries like Norway and UK claiming vast chunks of Antarctica. That's chutzpah at its best.
      • by unassimilatible (225662) on Friday August 08, 2008 @04:25AM (#24521967) Journal
        So the grandparent poster says we should drill in Antarctica without insulting anyone, and gets modded flamebait.

        Max Littlemore (parent of this post) responds by calling him an idiot, and gets modded insightful.

        Well, so long as moderators aren't using their points as political weapons. Why do we even have a moderation system here?
    • by Zontar The Mindless (9002) <{moc.liamg} {ta} {ofni.hsifcitsalp}> on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:55AM (#24521089)

      Antarctica is not included in the study for NG or oil in those studies. Why?

      Because the Antarctic Treaty [wikipedia.org] prohibits such activities.

  • by zappepcs (820751) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:23AM (#24520921) Journal

    Will foreign polar bears be able to cross into US territory without proper cavity searches by DHS employees?

    • by DeadDecoy (877617) on Friday August 08, 2008 @01:14AM (#24521175)
      I for one hope that all DHS employees investigate these potential terrorist threats with full body cavity searches, preferably starting with the mouth.
      • by networkBoy (774728) on Friday August 08, 2008 @02:29AM (#24521499) Homepage Journal

        I'd rather all DHS and TSA employees simply go to antartica.

        • by rts008 (812749)

          What do you have against penguins?

          Go ahead and send them to the North Pole disguised as seals to protect us from terrorist polar bears...accompanied by a film crew.

      • by n dot l (1099033)

        I for one hope that all DHS employees investigate these potential terrorist threats with full body cavity searches, preferably starting with the mouth.

        I don't care how they search the bears. I want it televised.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by jimicus (737525)

        I disagree, on the basis that most of the people you see on the ground are mindlessly doing as they're told.

        I think it would be far more productive for the management and politicians behind the DHS to lead by example.

    • by EdIII (1114411) *

      Ummmm... Yeah... Define what a proper cavity search is?

      It is depth? Gentleness? The inclusion of the Reach Around? I wonder just what the guide lines really are here.

    • by Terje Mathisen (128806) on Friday August 08, 2008 @05:21AM (#24522189)

      True story:

      A few decades ago, Norwegian arctic researchers wanted to determine if polar bears really hibernate (like the brown bear does), or just take a lot of long naps.

      To check this the father of a guy I knew used to dig/push his way into polar bear burrows, with a revolver and a rectal thermometer in front of him.

      He never had to fire the gun, but the temp readings he got showed that the polar bears were only sleeping, not hibernating.

      See the polar bear FAQ [polarbears...tional.org].

      Terje

  • He already gives coal to naughty children, now he's giving oil to dem Commies!
  • by brxndxn (461473) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:25AM (#24520937)

    New Cold War?

    I know.. I know.. It's bad. Sorry.

  • North Pole? (Score:2, Funny)

    by dwater (72834)

    > more important than St. Nick is 'an area thought to contain one-fifth of the world's undiscovered and recoverable oil and gas resources,

    Eh? "More important"?? You have some balls to say that. It's not *that* far from Christmas you know. I think you'll be on the 'naughty' list this year.

    In any case, how come people in the US think he comes from the North Pole. Everyone else I've spoken to thinks he comes from Lapland. Perhaps it's a symptom of the US population traveling so little and, well, Lapland *i

    • Nope, Saint Nick lives in Spain.
    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Well, first, The North Pole is uninhabited, which makes it cool that Santa Lives there. Like Superman and his fortress of solitude. Lapland, on the other hand, is just rural backwoods... kind ruins the mystique if Santa is just a dude from Saskatoon.

      Second, it's bad enough we put an unemployed fat guy in a suit and have our kids sit on him and tell him their wishes, imagine how much more uncomfortable it would be if his magic village was a place called "Lap Land."

      Third... At least we don't believe in Zw

    • by voop (33465)

      nah, santa is - as all good kids know - a resident of Greenland...which, as we know, is Denmark. Now, if USAians insist that Santa lives on the pole, then it must follow that the North Pole is in Greenland. which mean that we Danish have gotten an allied in defending the fact that the North Pole belongs to us.

      So thanks a lot. I'll ask santa to be extra generous to you this year ;)

  • by Darkness404 (1287218) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:34AM (#24520975)

    'an area thought to contain one-fifth of the world's undiscovered and recoverable oil and gas resources,'

    So in other words it is a big patch of ice that could possibly contain oil and gas but we have no clue? I'm so happy that our world's research has lead to that conclusion.

    • by dbIII (701233)
      That's right - in other words it's really just a troll to get greenies angry and argue among themsleves. There has not even been 1/5 of an attempt to do a single seismic survey in that ocean.
  • by narcberry (1328009) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:40AM (#24521013) Journal
    Thanks to the ongoing efforts of Durham University, the worlds borders are re-evaluated.
  • by susano_otter (123650) on Friday August 08, 2008 @12:51AM (#24521069) Homepage

    ...more important than St. Nick is 'an area thought to contain one-fifth of the world's undiscovered and recoverable oil and gas resources,' and from this map, Russia has a huge claim in that.

    And that, boys and girls, is why the next world war will be fought between Russia and China.

    • ......more important than St. Nick is 'an area thought to contain one-fifth of the world's undiscovered and recoverable oil and gas resources,' and from this map, Russia has a huge claim in that.

      And that, boys and girls, is why the next world war will be fought between Russia and China.

      When did Denmark become a Chinese allie? I guess Genghis Khan and the Viking both wore hats with horns.

    • by p0tat03 (985078)

      And that, boys and girls, is why the next world war will be fought between Russia and China.

      What? China has no stake in the Arctic at *all*. I'm more worried about the Russkies making moves on Canada and Denmark, one of whom has a pathetically small military, the other is really too far away to do any good.

      • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

        by ChoboMog (917656)
        In the short term, what is worrying to me is the fact that many countries dispute the Canadian claim to sovereignty over the Northwest passage. When it was covered in ice, it wasn't an issue, but as the caps melt and the passage becomes navigable it will become a major one. Anyways, in the longer term, another World War is likely to happen eventually, but it will probably be over more than just arctic sovereignty...
      • by jimicus (737525)

        What? China has no stake in the Arctic at *all*. I'm more worried about the Russkies making moves on Canada and Denmark, one of whom has a pathetically small military, the other is really too far away to do any good.

        I don't care how large or small the Danish army is, if you study your history you will know that you do NOT want to fuck around with vikings.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Mattsson (105422)

        China has no stake in the Arctic at *all*

        Exacly. If they want a piece of the Arctic, they have to invade Russia.
        If China where to expand through Siberia all the way to the northern coast, they would have a claim on Siberian Arctic territory.

        The Russians would probably have issues with this, though, and fight back. =)

    • by jandersen (462034)

      And that, boys and girls, is why the next world war will be fought between Russia and China.

      You forget that Greenland is actually part of the American continent and therefore rightfully belongs to th US, just like Canada, so the next world war will of course be between Russia and USA.

      Seriously, though, the way things are going, oil is less likely to be the cause of a world war - I suspect in the end the world will find a way to split this that isn't too outrageous, and we are slowly moving away from burning oil anyway because of the climate. I think the next world war will be over water, food and

    • by Dachannien (617929) on Friday August 08, 2008 @06:50AM (#24522575)

      And that, boys and girls, is why the next world war will be fought between Russia and China.

      Then I guess it's safe to say that at least one of them is going to fall for the most famous of the classic blunders.

    • by denzacar (181829)

      Why fight?

      When you can buy...
      Chinese will buy the resources they need from Russians, paying them with money they earned by selling led-painted toys to Americans.
      Simple... Russians get the money for oil, China gets oil for money, and USA gets their G.I. JOE toys with Kung Fu grip.
      Everyone is happy.

      Really... why fight?

  • by Animats (122034) on Friday August 08, 2008 @01:12AM (#24521165) Homepage

    The North Pole isn't quite open water yet. But it's getting close. A friend of mine just went there. By ship. Admittedly it was a nuclear-powered icebreaker. But pictures taken near the pole show patches of open water.

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by argStyopa (232550)

      Actually, there's more polar ice than there was last year.

      http://nsidc.org/data/seaice_index/images/daily_images/N_timeseries.png [nsidc.org]

      (Daily chart showing icepack compared to last year and to previous 20 average.)

      So yes, there's less ice than there used to be, but the somewhat under-reported increase this year over last year casts some question over the long-term trend, it could simply be long term climate oscillation.

  • I don't see that part owned by Slashdot. Darn, I guess they forgot to draw it :(
  • Coords (Score:3, Funny)

    by Samah (729132) on Friday August 08, 2008 @02:41AM (#24521549)
    90 degrees north, but what longitude?
    *badoom tish*
    • by Genda (560240)

      d'pense on which way you're facing! :-)
      OR...
      If you're mooning a particular country rotate 180 degrees.

  • Instead of trying to save the arctic they are fighting over the oil underneath it, even before the ice has melted.
  • by Chrisq (894406) on Friday August 08, 2008 @04:03AM (#24521901)
    It's safe to use as much oil as we want because climate change is a myth, and once all this ice at the North Pole melts we can have some nice oil platforms there....
  • BurnsSlantDrillingCompany
    IDrinkYourMilkshake

  • So The question is.. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by dbcad7 (771464) on Friday August 08, 2008 @04:51AM (#24522065)
    Where are the other 4 5ths of undiscovered oil ?.. and further, how much is a fifth of undiscovered ?.. how does it compare in volume to discovered oil ?

We warn the reader in advance that the proof presented here depends on a clever but highly unmotivated trick. -- Howard Anton, "Elementary Linear Algebra"

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