pudge's Journal: Being Rude

I realize that different people have different standards. But I go by my standards, as you go by yours.

Occasionally I am told I am being rude, because my words are "hostile" or because I am calling names. The overwhelming majority of the times this happens, it is because the other person did something that I consider far more rude, but they can't even recognize it.

I won't bother to guess at why they don't recognize it, because it's there all the same. In an argument, when I clearly state something, and you pretend I didn't, or that I said something else, that is rude. When you do it multiple consecutive times, that is galactically rude. And if I become a bit curt or "hostile" toward you because of it, don't expect me to apologize.

It's also exceptionally rude to say to me that I think something I don't think, or that I will or would think it. You have absolutely no clue what goes on inside my head. And not only is it rude to say you do when you can't, it's also a very cheap and stupid way to argue, which makes it even more rude.

This isn't about agreeing with me, it's about not using cheap and stupid tactics; it's about talking to what I am saying instead of what you imagine I might mean; it's about being reasonable. I couldn't care less if people disagree with me, but only that they are not rude to me when they do.

These things are far more rude than name-calling or using a hostile tone. Names and tones are peripheral, but these things completely defeat any chance at actual communication. Don't agree? Then don't talk to me. As you are not positively contributing to the discussion, I won't mind.

well sure Pudge

[nocomment]

You just think you know everything don't you? ;-)

Re:well sure Pudge

[pudge]

Heh. No, I am quite sure I don't, and I am quite sure I don't know what is going on in the heads of the people I think are being rude. But this is my playground, and I'll enforce my standards, which I think are pretty fair. :-)

Well said

[Red Warrior]

Unfortunately, understanding the other guy's point seems to be a dying part of discourse.

Re:Well said

[pudge]

Actually, the understanding someone else's point is quite common.

I disagree. My main goal in discourse is mutual understanding, and it is usually an uphill battle.

The acceptance that one disagrees WHILE understanding is dwindling.

That too.