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Star Wars Prequels Politics Idle

Darth Vader Runs For President of Ukraine 114

Posted by samzenpus
from the I-find-your-lack-of-voting-disturbing dept.
First time accepted submitter neuroscroll (579178) writes "An unorthodox candidate presented himself for the future early presidential elections in Ukraine: the Darth Vader himself is promising to make an empire out of a republic. He is the official candidate of the Ukrainian Internet party. From the article: 'The Sith lord, or at least an unnamed costumed protester often seen on Kiev's Independence Square flanked by his loyal stormtroopers during the winter protests, has been chosen as the official candidate of the Ukrainian Internet party (UIP) which has become known for its theatrical public stunts. "After winning intra-party primaries by a landslide, comrade Vader will be our party's candidate," said the UIP leader, Dmitry Golubov, who spent time in prison after being convicted of using the internet to run a credit card fraud scheme.'"
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Darth Vader Runs For President of Ukraine

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  • by Jeremiah Cornelius (137) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:43PM (#46623187) Homepage Journal

    It's un-Ukrainian! Lord Vader should remain the enforcing power of the throne - not the occupant!

    • by Jeremiah Cornelius (137) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:46PM (#46623233) Homepage Journal

      But now, who will run Google?

      • by ackthpt (218170)

        But now, who will run Google?

        Disney, of course, haven't you kept up with the buy-out of the Evil Empire by the Eviler Empire?

    • by ackthpt (218170) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:48PM (#46623253) Homepage Journal

      It's un-Ukrainian! Lord Vader should remain the enforcing power of the throne - not the occupant!

      Not only that, the power which most resembles the Empire at this moment in time is Russia.

      In Soviet Russia the Force is against YOU!

      • by Aighearach (97333) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:53PM (#46623319) Homepage

        So then it makes sense, Darth Vader is running so that he can implement Emperor Putin's will.

        In Neo-Soviet Russia, force uses you!

      • by Jeremiah Cornelius (137) on Monday March 31, 2014 @01:12PM (#46623589) Homepage Journal

        No. The power that resembles the Empire most is the United States.

        Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...

        The US boot crushes the testicles of the world. Now, go drink your Pepsi, and read more self-congratulatory pap about the "free world".

        • Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...

          Did US annex any of these countries?

          • by aevan (903814)
            Didn't Palpentine have a lot of worlds he propped up with a puppet government that weren't directly in the Empire but might as well been, serving to refuel his fleets and such? Expanded Universe being rather confusing and such for the non-hardcore... but to my knowledge there wasn't JUST empire and rebels..there were a lot of 'neutral worlds' and other alliances and such..that just bent to the Empire due to military or economic power.
            • by Anonymous Coward

              The Empire probably fit the model of asymmetric federalism [wikipedia.org] best. Most systems were under the direct control of some sort of Imperial Sector office, but others such as Hutt Space or the Corporate Sector I'm pretty sure are left to their own autonomy... as long as Imperial Laws aren't broken (and the Imperials care to enforce them). I believe that citizens who lived in these areas were Imperial Citizens. It seems even Tatooine had a small Imperial presence, otherwise they like to carry of Dewbacks around o

          • by VortexCortex (1117377) <VortexCortex@Nos ... t-retrograde.com> on Monday March 31, 2014 @04:39PM (#46625719)

            Where was the referendum in Serbia, or Libya or Iraq, or Afghanistan, or Panama, or...

            Did US annex any of these countries?

            Yes. The USA is owned and run by international corporations. Thus wars are fought at the behest of these commercial interests. When the USA destroys some place like Iraq or Afghanistan the US companies make out like bandits not only in the military industrial complex but also the mandatory US companies doing the unsatisfactory "rebuilding" effort to fix the unnecessary "shock and awe" damage. [youtube.com] The economy itself is replaced.

            The borders of the country and its name can even stay the same. International corporations don't care much about borders. It's the economy that matters, and what they fight for is more privatization and deregulation. Thus these countries are indeed annexed by the rulers of the USA.

          • by amiga3D (567632)

            Not only that, we took a backseat to Europe in the Libyan deal recently. If the US was really like the Empire we'd have crushed the USSR right after WWII like Patton wanted. After that, with no one else holding nukes we'd have ruled the planet. Worldwide Pax Americana. This whining over Iraq is unbelievable. We stumbled in, knocked out Saddam's bully boys then realized we had destroyed the government of the country in the process and had to hold it together and get them back on their feet long enough t

            • I seriously doubt that USA had the ability to crush the USSR in 1945, regardless of Patton's opinion. It didn't have enough nukes to use them as anything other than a terror weapon, and no ability to deliver them to where they'd actually serve a strategic purpose (e.g. to attack the industrial centers in Urals).

              The "whining" over Iraq is also not groundless. It's not just about what actually happened, but also about the justification for it. In all honesty, US should acknowledge it as a bad thing, a war of

          • by Anonymous Coward
            This is centuries ago thinking. Why annex countries and give the new citizens rights and things when you can run the show via proxy? It's all upside no downside.
          • by Mondor (704672)

            No, but they caused deaths of more than 100 thousands people in Iraq alone (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casualties_of_the_Iraq_War). They would better annex it without killing anyone.

    • by ildon (413912) on Monday March 31, 2014 @01:04PM (#46623467)

      You never see the true Dark Lord, working from the shadows.

    • I for one welcome......... Seriously had to check the date on this one!!!!
  • by kruach aum (1934852) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:47PM (#46623235)

    which got me thinking, I guess Darth is a title but Vader isn't, so it would be analogous to say, "the King James", which makes sense only in reference to the King James Version of the bible. Does this mean there is a Darth Vader version of badly translated Sith teachings? If so, why am I reading this shittily written article summary instead of that?

    • by ackthpt (218170)

      which got me thinking, I guess Darth is a title but Vader isn't, so it would be analogous to say, "the King James", which makes sense only in reference to the King James Version of the bible. Does this mean there is a Darth Vader version of badly translated Sith teachings? If so, why am I reading this shittily written article summary instead of that?

      I once worked where there was an employee with the surname Vader, I'm sure her life was just a little bit difficult due to this and morons running up to her all the time and asking how Darth is.

    • by TeknoHog (164938)
      It makes sense when you watch it with Dutch subtitles, especially the part "I am your father".
    • I've always had problems with the "the"s and the "a"s. But as "vader" means "father" in Dutch, and "darth" is coming from "dark", it makes sense to say "the Dark Father"... sortof.
  • by cold fjord (826450) on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:49PM (#46623275)

    The power of a man in a Darth Vader costume is insignificant compared to the power of a Russian tank army.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 31, 2014 @12:51PM (#46623291)
      I find your lack of faith disturbing.
    • by Xest (935314)

      Which is a shame, because even if Darth Vader were real then electing him couldn't exactly be worse than being ruled by old Vladolf Putler.

      At least Darth didn't hate people just for being born gay for example. At least with Darth it was purely about hating freedom and wanting an empire.

      • Yeah, Vader can be pretty much summed up with, "Serve me, or die."

        I like that. Makes it easy for a man to know where he stands with the Big Guy.

      • Nobody's born gay. Or are you saying that some boys were born with their penises up another boy's anus?
        • by Xest (935314)

          Hint: It's not the sex that makes you gay. It's genetic.

          But you're obviously too stupid to understand this topic, because apparently some people are also born to be stupid given you provide a perfect example.

          • If someone is born with the genetic predisposition to violence, would you call him a violent person the minute he's born? Of course not - you'd call him a violent person only if he exhibits violent behaviour once he grows up. The same with homosexuality. A person is born as an asexual. He cannot be called a homosexual until he hits puberty and exhibits homosexual behaviour.
            • by Xest (935314)

              It's not the point of diagnosis of a genetic trait that defines your genetics. If someone is born with a pre-disposition to violence they have a pre-disposition to violence at birth, the fact that trait is not exhibited until later in life does not change the fact they have that trait.

              Being a violent person and having a pre-disposition to violence are two different things, just as being born homosexual is different to performing homosexual acts, it's possible to be gay without ever even engaging in a homose

              • What's the point of being gay if one doesn't engage in homosexual acts? To put it another way, what's the difference between a non-gay person and a gay person who doesn't exhibit homosexual behaviour? There's no difference. When we talk about gay people, we need only consider those people who actually exhibit homosexual behaviour. A non-practising gay person is irrelevant to the discussion.
                • by Xest (935314)

                  You're still really confused about this, aren't you?

                  I'll try one last time.

                  Gay isn't a thing you do, it's a thing you are.

                  "To put it another way, what's the difference between a non-gay person and a gay person who doesn't exhibit homosexual behaviour? There's no difference."

                  Well one is not gay, and the other is gay. That's the difference. Even if the gay one doesn't actively carry out homosexual acts, they're still attracted to people of the same sex, just as the non-gay person is attracted to people of the

                  • You're the one who's confused. Let me remind you of the context under which we are discussing. You were talking about Vladimir Putin - whom you pejoratively referred to as Vladolf Putler - whereby you inferred that he "hate people just for being born gay". In the context of Putin, he has never said anything to imply that he hated people who are attracted to people of the same sex. What he did was enacted legislation against homosexual practices and propaganda. I re-emphasise - practices and propaganda, NOT
                    • by Xest (935314)

                      You know it's far easier to just admit you're wrong rather than to try and play games with semantics right? Carrying on just makes you look even more stupid than when you failed to grasp even basic biology.

                      Really, you should probably just stop making yourself look ever more dumb about now.

                      Have you considered going to a different site? this site is for science and tech news, as you don't grasp basic science it's probably not really for you.

                    • You keep insulting me in every post, which is a sign that you don't have valid arguments to support your views.

                      You know that "this site is for science and tech news", so then why did you make a diatribe against a political leader whose view you happen to not agree with? Is it scientific to insult and call people names?

                      In conclusion, I win.
                    • by Xest (935314)

                      The only thing you win at is being repeatedly retarded, so congratulations on that if it makes you feel better.

                      Hint: If someone's repeatedly insulting you, perhaps it's because you're idiotic and ignorant enough to deserve it. Being insulted doesn't make you right, it just means you're so far off base that someone has lost patience trying to even deal with your level of retardedness in a less offensive manner.

                      But it's okay, your posting history alone demonstrates you hate gay people and that's the only reas

  • Also ex-prisoner and ultra-nationalist are presidential candidates in Ukraine, read more about it here http://russianblogger.me/presi... [russianblogger.me]
  • April 1 is tomorrow, unless you're a Kiwi. Did they put you up to this?
  • ...Romanian? Oh, that's the good Count!

    So Darth is from Ukraine? Who'd have thunk it?

    • by ackthpt (218170)

      ...Romanian? Oh, that's the good Count!

      So Darth is from Ukraine? Who'd have thunk it?

      I thought he was from somewhere along Lucas Valley Road in Marin County, California.

      A few years ago I went hiking in the hills above the ranch. Had my telephoto lens and everything, ready to take some really awesome pictures.

      Such a let down. No Death Star, no storm troupers, not even a stinkin' Ewok. I was nearly traumatized, but for finding a Lesser Nighthawk hiding at the base of a boulder my afternoon was salvaged.

  • I was challenging Vader and was about to win the primary when, during a debate he did the forcey chokey thing on me. Fuck--I nearly died! So the rat bastard should not even be leading the party, let alone running for president!
    • "This is not the candidate you're looking for..."

      Does the whole Jedi Mind Trick thing work through the TV?

  • A Sith wants to take over a small country, it doesn't seem to be an issue in my head.

    It isn't like there is a power-hungry "politician" nearby who controls vast areas like an emperor.

    Wait a second... Putin is the Sith Lord, Vader is his apprentice.

    We need this Vader to destroy the emperor! He is the only one who can restore balance force!!!

  • Yeah, why not have masked leaders with digital voice changers.... Couldn't be worse then we have now :/

  • he will be sued into oblivion by the Star Wars Corp. for unauthorized use of costumes and trademarks.
  • Darth Vader's campaign poster could be no more than a picture of Putin with the slogan 'DO NOT WANT'
  • Imperial March (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Akaihiryuu (786040) on Monday March 31, 2014 @03:05PM (#46624723)
    Will Ukraine be changing their national anthem to the Imperial March? Cause that would be pretty awesome.
  • This may sound funny, but I'm serious, compared to current candidate line-up - Darth is the most sane of them all, compared to Yarosh, Timoshenko and Poroshenko he is much less extreme. If I had Ukrainian citizenship - I would definitely vote for him versus other right and ultra-right candidates.

  • by Ihlosi (895663) on Monday March 31, 2014 @03:25PM (#46624961)
    Why vote for any lesser evil?
  • Makes sense. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Minwee (522556) <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Monday March 31, 2014 @03:27PM (#46624999) Homepage

    When every other candidate is certifiably loopy, there's a pretty low bar for competing with them.

    Toronto mayoral candidates are currently running on platforms of smoking weed in office but not crack, getting publicly drunk without threatening to kill anyone, and only urinating in public where there are no cameras around [nationalpost.com].

    Sadly, all of these promises put them ahead of the incumbent.

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *intake of breath* OOOooooooooo...ooo...oo..o.o...! *cough* *splutter*
  • by quantaman (517394) on Monday March 31, 2014 @04:49PM (#46625813)

    First they had fascists in the government and now they'll have Sith. At the very least they should get Magneto as defence minister and fill the army up with Cylons.

  • by Livius (318358) on Monday March 31, 2014 @05:36PM (#46626231)

    is that Darth Vader managed to commit massive violations of civil and human rights and have probably the two most costly military projects in history fail on his watch, despite which he was completely ineffective in his counter-terrorism policy. His career as a public servant was a series of disasters.

    So, about the same as most Earth politicians.

  • Wait, I thought the Darth Vader was already the guy in charge in Russia.

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