North Korea Threatens US With Preemptive Nuclear Strike 727
jppiiroinen writes "North Korea threatened the United States on Thursday with a preemptive nuclear strike, raising the level of rhetoric while the U.N. Security Council considers new sanctions against the reclusive country."
First strike! (Score:5, Funny)
You dead, yankee scum!
The president should do an address (Score:5, Funny)
The president should make an address and announce the following message for Kim jong Un "Come at me bro".
Rodman (Score:5, Funny)
Whelp, guess obama and Jong Un aren't gonna have that lovely conversation about basketball I was oh-so waiting for. /sarcasm
Re:Well That Escalated Quickly (Score:5, Funny)
Wow, that's so easy! I hope you become general!
Will (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The president should do an address (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well That Escalated Quickly (Score:4, Funny)
The harshest sanctions yet? Are the UN planning to make a *gasp* sternly worded phone-call?
Re:The president should do an address (Score:1, Funny)
Unfortunately the president is no longer capable of making such an address. Shortly after being informed of the North Korean threat he was found on the floor of the oval office, unconscious. Apparently he had been laughing so hard, not only did he pull a muscle in his abdomen, but he was so short of breath he passed out.
....
He woke once briefly, on the way to the hospital, and is believed to have said something about nuclear weapons, and not hitting barns while being inside them, at which point he began laughing again
Re:First strike! (Score:5, Funny)
US responds with 300 unmanned DRONES ...
Holy Moly, we successfully cloned Dennis Rodman 300 times?!?
Dune is fictional (Score:3, Funny)
communism, schmommunism... (Score:5, Funny)
If the DPRK's leadership would let the peasants go, China could probably accommodate them in the spare guestroom while they invest in remodeling NK on a China model. Once they're all safely chained to their workbenches building eyephones and have enough to eat, Bob's your uncle.
Re:Ignore them (Score:2, Funny)
I can see you've never met the family of the average Berkeley professor...
Re:First strike! (Score:5, Funny)
"But China's come of age, is a major world power. They're finding N. Korea's crap annoying lately."
I like the idea of China's leaders putting it to Kim Jong Un exactly like this in a text message or something. Like a pair of teenage lovers that grew up together and grew apart.
"Dear Kim, we're finding your crap annoying lately. Grow up."
Re:First strike! (Score:2, Funny)
I don't see a problem, as long as the wind is blowing offshore. We'd probably erect statues to Kim for doing us that favor, after we vaporized him.
Scandinavia (Score:5, Funny)
A Scandinavian country should invade and conquer North Korea. Then we can call it Norse Korea.
Re:First strike! (Score:5, Funny)
Not likely. China is growing tired of Peyongyang's shenanigans.
I think as diplomatic policy the US should start referring to their tricks as pyongyanigans.