$700 Billion Bailout Signed Into Law 857
Many readers reminded us of what no-one can have failed to hear: that the Congress passed and the President signed a $700B bailout bill in an attempt to avert the meltdown of the US economy. The bill allocates $700 billion to the Treasury Department for the purchase of so-called "toxic assets" that have been weighing down Wall Street balance sheets. This isn't particularly a tech story, though tech will be affected as will virtually all parts of the economy, and not just in the US. Among the $110B in so-called pork added to the bill to sway reluctant legislators are extensions of popular tax benefits for business R&D and alternative energy, relief for the growing pool of people subject to the alternative minimum tax, and a provision raising the FDIC's ceiling of guaranteed deposits to $250,000. Some limits were also imposed on executive compensation, though it's unclear whether they will be effective.
Sweet? (Score:5, Funny)
How big of a check should I expect to get?
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Blackshot [blackshotfps.com]
Paulson's speech (Score:4, Funny)
"We owe it all to the bedrock of our economy: the ordinary hard-working taxpayer [today.com]. You resisted the siren call of credit cards, lived within your means to save for a rainy day, never took out an interest-only mortgage, credit score to make Jesus cry. Without taking every penny you saved over the $100,000 guarantee, we'd never have made it. And the best bit is, we know you'll still vote Republican! God bless you all!"
By the way, your house is still worthless. [today.com]
This is how it's done. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Friday (Score:2, Funny)
Without a job they pretty much have all the time they need to plan for it.
Re:I'm a Vice President in IT. (Score:5, Funny)
Certainly a very busy man.
I work on programming and enhancing strategic investment platforms for both fixed income securities and equities.
So yes, you can be both a Vice President and a member of IT. I've even been a Vice President and Chief Technology Officer in the past.
Did you by chance happen to stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
Re:Friday (Score:5, Funny)
Our attention span is to short to allow for planning
An Important E-Mail. I think it's from Nigeria! (Score:2, Funny)
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
(Reference: http://bettybowers.com/betty4president/?p=132 [bettybowers.com])
Re:The Goldsmiths Latest Move = Bailout (Score:3, Funny)
Thanks for the link. It's always entertaining to read the work of a grade A nutjob:
Shadowy figures in conspiracy behind the government.... Check.
Upcoming world war III and new world order.... Check.
One world government.... Check.
The only thing missing was that it forgets to blame the Jews. There are certain standards to keep up when writing this kind of trash.
Re:Sweet? (Score:3, Funny)
Quit your whining, and start sellinging your shit! (Score:2, Funny)
I pinched this link off "The Economist" Website: http://www.buymyshitpile.com/ [buymyshitpile.com]
Hell, Paulson is going to save the economy by buying "distressed debt" and "toxic assets", which is financial talk for "worthless shit", so why not help him out? He has cash to piss away, and isn't quite sure right yet where to spend it.
Computer geeks are notorious for hoarding worthless shit. I just can't part myself from that IBM PCMCIA Token Ring adapter ... with an 8228 MAU ... but if Henry makes me a good offer ... I just might reconsider.
Re:You realize, of course, that you've left a lot (Score:3, Funny)
>Do you work for the Republican campaign? I only ask because such blatant cherry-picking of the facts to suit your own position is a party trademark.
Hey, I found his post insightful.. It was full of real facts.
Is that impossible? I mean if OP is right, does that make you wrong? Because it seems you're right as well.
All his facts check out. I'm sure yours do too.
Between the two of you, we can plainly see it took a bipartisan effort to F up this country. INCONCEIVABLE!
It's official (Score:3, Funny)
Torture camps? Check.
Oligarchy with fake elections? Check.
Getting ass kicked in Afghanistan? Check.
And now the state is nationalising corporations.
It's official, folks, the USA are the new Soviet Russia. Time to recycle all those jokes.