The Ridiculous LexisNexis Search that the Justice Department Used 589
[First name of a candidate]! and pre/2 [last name of a candidate] w/7 bush or gore or republican! or democrat! or charg! or accus! or criticiz! or blam! or defend! or iran contra or clinton or spotted owl or florida recount or sex! or controvers! or racis! or fraud! or investigat! or bankrupt! or layoff! or downsiz! or PNTR or NAFTA or outsourc! or indict! or enron or kerry or iraq or wmd! or arrest! or intox! or fired or sex! or racis! or intox! or slur! or arrest! or fired or controvers! or abortion! or gay! or homosexual! or gun! or firearm!
Needless to say, when asked about it, Williams first said she didn't remember ever seeing it, then said she'd used an edited version just once. LexisNexis records show she used it, as shown, 25 times." Note that 'sex!' appears twice in the query. Must be VERY important.
spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
what the hell
Oblig. Life of Brian (Score:5, Funny)
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Translate please? (Score:1, Funny)
Can someone tell me what a LexisNexis search is
Wikipedia can. Do you know what Wikipedia is? If not, look it up on Wikipedia.
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:spotted owl? (Score:3, Funny)
So kinda like in the best-selling thrille "The Spotted Owl Brief"?
Sounds like... (Score:1, Funny)
...the recipe for a good time!
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
Not really surprising. Spotted owls are notoriously poor prosecutors. They also have a well-known bias against rats and other vermin, making them unsuitable for political work.
Re:Oblig. Life of Brian (Score:5, Funny)
Well, in fairness, "arrest" and "intox" also appear twice... So they also care about getting drunk and enjoying a bit of the ol' ultraviolence...
Re:LexisNexis Search? (Score:3, Funny)
They do TRY to be secure with the LEO-only portions though.
So, if you're beyond a Low Earth Orbit, you're safe?
Re:Appearing twice... (Score:3, Funny)
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.
Courtesy IMDB [imdb.com]
Re:LexisNexis Search? (Score:4, Funny)
They do TRY to be secure with the LEO-only portions though.
So, if you're beyond a Low Earth Orbit, you're safe?
Law Enforcement Officer, but I like your sense of humor.
I would have also laughed if you took it as limiting access based on astrological sign.
Now I get it (Score:4, Funny)
This must be what they mean about a search with a "wide stance".
Perhaps it's more enlightening to add together all the terms appearing more than once, like sex!, fired, racis!, arrest!, intox! and contravers!. What emerges is an interesting psychological view into the heads of the people doing the search. Based on what they list more than once, I would guess Jan Williams and Monica Gooding are afraid of getting so drunk or otherwise intoxicated that they wind up having sex with someone of a different race, being arrested (perhaps by an aggrieved other-racial spouse or something), and having the subsequent controversy cost them their jobs.
Just kidding, but who knows? Some of those prim and proper morality queens get really, really twisted when they drink a bit too much. Yeah alcohol!
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
ya rly
Re:Yes, you hate George Bush ... (Score:2, Funny)
M. Nut Shamalamadingdong is actually God's way of punishing us for electing Bush twice. Repent now before another soul-searingly bad movie is unleashed!
Re:spotted owl? (Score:1, Funny)
Firearms were ok.
However, in a little publicized hunting incident, a spotted owl accidentally shot a hunting partner of Dick Cheney when the owl mistook him for a predator.
Re:The spotted owl is a shibboleth. (Score:4, Funny)
The spotted owl became a shibboleth. Anyone who said "save the endangered owls!" was likely to be a Democrat, and anyone who said "to hell with the owls!" was a Democrat.
Trying to have it both ways, eh? Tricky, those Democrats...
Re:spotted owl? (Score:5, Funny)
My clock is digital with 1 minute resolution and is set ~30 seconds slow. It's right 1440 times a day - Try that trick with a broken clock.
You insensitive clod.
Re:The spotted owl is a shibboleth. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:spotted owl? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Yes, you hate George Bush ... (Score:5, Funny)
...the damage good ole [President Bill Clinton]...did to us
8 years of peace and prosperity ending with a budget surplus?
Re:The spotted owl is a shibboleth. (Score:0, Funny)
Re:spotted owl? (Score:3, Funny)
So YOU are the asshole that writes those lines for sex pages and domain squatters to lure visitors to them with Google! Get him, people, get him!
She's just doing her job (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Spotted Owl? (Score:3, Funny)
Republicans really missed the boat on this issue. I've talked to many owls and they are the most closed minded, conservative birds you could ever meet. Owls make blue jays look like anarchists, and don't get me started on those bigoted cormorants.
Re:"Illegally" filtering out (Score:3, Funny)
Constitutionally, it's just him and the VP, standing around outside somewhere. He does have the constitutional power to sign bills into law, so legally he probably demand, in the courts, that Congress budget him a pen or other writing utensil. But that's it.
Not to be terribly pedantic, but this isn't quite accurate. He doesn't have the power to sign bills into law. He has ten days (minus Sundays) to look at a bill after it's passed by congress before it automatically gets passed.
What he has is the power to veto bills, which is the only reason he has need for a pen.
Don't even get me started on pocket vetoes...
Re:spotted owl? (Score:1, Funny)
Yes - Checking a clock that is right 1440 times/day every microsecond would mean that it's wrong at least 1,000,000*60*60*24 - 1440 = 86399998560 times/day. 86400000000 times/day if it's really set 30 seconds slow.
Way to kill the joke poopie.
Re:spotted owl? (Score:2, Funny)
George Bush criticiz nafta for spotted owl gay sex with firearms
blam!
Re:spotted owl? (Score:2, Funny)
She [wikipedia.org] is quite the looker isn't she.
Re:spotted owl? (Score:3, Funny)
I'll tell you about my spotted owl
Re:spotted owl? (Score:1, Funny)
I'd hit it.
Re:The problem is the US is a two party state (Score:5, Funny)
Disclaimer: I am not a political scientist, and thus can only write from my observations as a lay person. The above statements are IMHO only.
That's a very short and limited disclaimer. Any casual Slashdot reader could easily take your observation about the shortcomings of parliaments and apply it in the real world with terrible consequences, and you would be liable. Might I suggest:
Disclaimer: The posting Slashdot user ("the author") who authored the above electronic nested web comment ("the comment") being read by you ("the reader") is not and has never in any previous capacity been a political scientist or professional political pundit, nor has he/she assisted any persons occupying these or similar occupations. His/her comment is provided "as is" with no warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of reliability and fitness for a political purpose. The entire risk as to the quality and veracity of the comment is with the reader. The author posted the comment purely as the observations of a lay person ("IMHO") and should not be construed as a wholehearted endorsement of any political proposal that may or may not have been included within it.