U.S. Mass Declassified Documents At Midnight

Alchemist253 writes "Advocates of open government have another reason to celebrate New Year 2007: at midnight hundreds of millions of U.S. government documents that were classified more than 25 years ago got automatically declassified. Various agencies have applied for exemptions for specific documents, but nonetheless there should be a release of a number of interesting papers." From the article: "'It is going to take a generation for scholars to go through the material declassified under this process,' said Steven Aftergood, who runs a project on government secrecy for the Federation of American Scientists."

So ...

[tomhudson]

Do we finally find out who killed JFK?

Saig anyone?

[bunhed]

Perhaps we need a seti type project to go though it all. We could dub it SAIG, Search for Any Intelligent Governance. I figure it would get the same number of false positives seti does.

not surprising

[macadamia_harold]

It is going to take a generation for scholars to go through the material declassified under this process,' said Steven Aftergood, who runs a project on government secrecy for the Federation of American Scientists.

Well, if the government really wanted to keep people busy, I'm sure they could just use an algorithm to randomly generate a few million pages of government-speak, formatted to look important, but containing no information whatsoever. That way, they could mask the few nuggets of truly important information in a mound of nonsense and red herrings.

Wait, that's congress' job. Nevermind.

Re:So ...

[FlyingSquidStudios]

No, but since it goes back to the early 80s, maybe we'll find out who shot Ronald Reagan.

Oh wait, we already know that. Oh well.

Re:So ...

[ScrewMaster]

Yes. It was Microsoft Bob.

Hey! That's just as reasonable as most of the other "theories" that have been propounded in the decades since.

Among the secrets, cause of Slashdot's dupes

[Anonymous Coward]

It seems that Slashdot's offices and many of its editors are infected with top secret radioactive element duplonium, resulting in dupes like this [slashdot.org].

Biggest Personal Bombshell:

[mr_luc]

It turns out, I wasn't born in Creston Iowa to Matt and Barbara at all. I was created as part of a series of a domestic experiments with in-vitro fertilization, and ... and my father ...

My father is Margaret Thatcher. /me sits on ground and cries.

Re:So ...

[tomhudson]

No, Microsoft Bob was like herpes.

1. Nobody would admit to having it
2. It seriously damaged your reputation
3. People shunned you
4. There is no "cure", only treatment.

Re:So ...

[Anonymous Coward]

No, but since it goes back to the early 80s, maybe we'll find out who shot Ronald Reagan.

Oh wait, we already know that.

Or do we? I submit that the KGB grew genetically-altered assassins equipped with light-bending camoflauge armor to do the job, while using mind control to set up John Hinckley, Jr. as the fall guy (with the help of communist fifth columnists within the film industry who re-edited Taxi Driver to contain subliminal messages, which also caused the rise of MTV, which is a whole other conspiracy which I do not have the space to cover here), and that they in fact succeeded in killing him, but quickly switched the real, dead Reagan with a insidiously clever android based on alien technology. Did you ever seen Ronald Reagan around any large magnets after the shooting? Didn't think so.

I suggest those of you who can see this memorize this information as quickly as you can, because the government DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS, and this post will surely not remain up for very long. (AND DON'T COPY AND PASTE IT. THEY HAVE CODE EMBEDDED IN YOUR BROWSER THAT SEND EVERYTHING EVERYBODY COPIES AND PASTES DIRECTLY TO THE NSA.) Don't worry about me, I'm posting from behind a proxy server (NOT Tor, which is in fact run by Dutch intelligence), and will be taking the next boat to another continent after I've sent out the signal. See through the lies. Good luck to you.

Don't be silly

[symbolset]

When a document is classified, that doesn't mean it's pressed on thick orange cardboard with brown ink to prevent photocopying. The government has millions of classified documents and some of the most wonderful document scanners you've ever seen. The original documents were all probably scanned and archived long ago. If they want to, they can release the documents on DVD.

It seems likely they won't want to.

I imagine google will do a nice index and we'll know why Kennedy had the CIA assassinate the guy who invented the 100MPG on tapwater carbeurator shortly.

Re:Where?

[manastungare]

Haven't you heard? They have been on display at the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.

A Generation??

[electronerdz]

Give it to Google, let them index it, and then we can all work on it. They everyone will Myspace and blog it, and the world will know everything.

Re:Saig anyone?

[FinnWinter]

More importantly, one would expect it to get exactly the same number of true positives.