Get on the 'Gates for President' Bandwagon

netbuzz writes "Dilbert's Scott Adams kicked off the idea in his November 19th blog post, saying there isn't anything wrong with this country that President Bill Gates couldn't cure in less time than it takes to get a new operating system out the door. Today, the idea is moving forward with a brand-new 'Bill Gates for President' Web site. Adams is also back on the campaign trail, flogging the site and Gates' candidacy." A blog post at Network World includes a lot of eye-rolling about this idea, but neither Adams nor the folks at the 'Gates for President' website seem to be taking this lightly.

Imagine if ...

[Salvance]

Geez ... if people thought Dick Cheney was cold and ruthless, wait until they have Bill Gates in charge. Plus, imagine some of the innovations we'd see:

Pres Gates Day 1: The U.S. needs to become the most innovative country in the world, so I have decided in interest of attaining this goal we will rebuild Washington D.C. ... the new city will be named Capitol 2.0
Pres Gates Day 365: The Capital 2.0 is running ahead of schedule, I know it's been tough living and working out of trailers, but we should be finished within a year
Pres Gates Day 700: Due to the new competition from Tokyo's rebuilding operations, we have decided to restart our Capitol 2.0 project, but the delay will be worth it since our new Capitol will be even better than the original one planned
Pres Gates Day 1000: We have found that the Capitol 2.0 subway system was incompatible with the Capitol 2.0 sewage system, so we will rebuild DC's old subway system and try to make it work within the Capitol 2.0 structure
Pres Gates on his last day: On my final day in office, I am proud to unveil Capitol 2.0 ... at first you may think it looks just like DC, but we actually repainted all the buildings, and added innovative new parking meters that destroy your car if you try to park in same parking spot more than 3 times.

BSoD

[Dutchmaan]

"Blue State of Death" ?

shock!

[joe 155]

"there isn't anything wrong with this country that President Bill Gates couldn't cure in less time than it takes to get a new operating system out the door"

Have things really got that bad?

Top Ten Reasons Bill Gates Would Run for President

[transporter_ii]

1. He wants to buy an old Cesna, paintit flashy colors, and call it Air Force '95.
2. He heard that some government agencies were using UNIX.
3. He wants to get that illegal sports car in SF Bay into the US.
4. He just thinks it would be neat to be president of two big thingies.
5. He's hot for Janet Reno.
6. His ego needs to be inflated.
7. He lost the key to his mansion, so he needs a new place to live.
8. He thinks that he can use MS Money to balance the budget.
9. He feels that Perot just didn't throw enough money at it.
10. He wants to make Windows '95 the official operating system of the USA.

Ok, those look kind of dated...but still funny

On the serious side, I wonder how many people with the power to see into the mysterious future, were tempted to e-mail the editor about a SERIOUS problem with this story!

Transporter_ii

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[BandwidthHog]

Hmmm...I seem to remember that Bill say that he was going to be stepping down as Microsoft CEO in a couple of years...

You must have heard that a couple of years ago.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[HTTP Error 403 403.9]

I'd rather vote for John Cusack.

Qualifications?

[BandwidthHog]

I’ve been saying for years that we need to stop electing millionaires.

Careful what ya wish for, I suppose.

The ultimate application of the Dilbert Principle

[archeopterix]

Thank you, Scott.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

WordPress Error

[NatasRevol]

One way to make sure it doesn't happen:

Slashdot it!!

Quick, someone tell Digg, then Fark!

Finally!

[Cr0w T. Trollbot]

A politician with the honesty of Bill Clinton, the dashing presence of Michael Dukakis, the sexy charisma of Hubert Humphrey, the commanding stature of Joseph Lieberman, the popularity of Gray Davis, the humble background of John D. Rockefeller, the down-home charm of John Kerry, the electoral experience of Pat Robertson, the honesty of Dan Rostenkowski, and the huge following of Dennis Kucinich!

Crow T. Trollbot

Just one question

[antifoidulus]

Will there be a "Cowboy Neal" option on the ballot?

Re:Remember

[DeepHurtn!]

Yes, as George W. Bush has clearly demonstrated, the key to success in politics is to be an unsuccessful yet still rich businessman.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[JDevers]

Hell, I think I would rather vote for Joan Cusack...

Re:Expect a ban on open source..

[McFortner]

I have seen the future....

President Gates was quoted as saying regarding the MicroSoft investigation, "Justice Department investigation? What Justice Department investigation?" MicroSoft stock prices climbed 200 points today when Wall Street heard the news.

In related news, Steve Job's execution as a Enemy of the State is scheduled to go on as planned at 9pm EST. Live, pay-per-view coverage can be found on MSNBC.com.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Remember

[drinkypoo]

I think Billy G. could do it, he's got the name recognition, he's much better looking and personable then Forbes was

yes, but Forbes apparently a) owns a mirror and b) has stopped let his mother pick out his clothes for him.

Re:First day on the Job

[drinkypoo]

So what does he do for the other 23 hours and 55 minutes?

I solemnly swear to embrace the Constitution...

[Peter Trepan]

...and extend it...

Stop the presses!!!

[overtly_demure]

I wouldn't mind having a president that knows something about computers.

Yow! A brand new mindless hot-button issue! Stop the presses! A guy who actually knows how to operate a computer should be president! Not some pen-wielding dipshit, not some bozo who can't tell the backtick from an apostrophe, but a guy who can actually bring up a certain word processing program, type something in it, and successfully print it and save it to disk! Brilliant, Holmes, brilliant!

Where can we find such a strange and noble leader? Elect him at once, I say! I for one welcome our new mouse-button-pressing overlord!

Of course, he did gratuitously use a backslash instead of a forward slash in pathnames. And, not to be picky, but the space in the "Program Files" directory name was not a good idea, nor was the two-character sequence in DOS file carriage returns. And that whole monopoly thing, are we over that yet?

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[Intron]

But Bill Gates wasn't in Predator.

Re:WordPress Error

[kirun]

I'll save you the effort. Here's the most important parts of the Digg and Fark discussions, summarised using my time-travel modem that loads stories from the future:

Digg:

"..." (37 diggs)
"Me too" (102 diggs)

Fark:
(picture of cat on blue screened monitor)
im on ur pc
crashing ur windows

(... 1 hour of discussion later ...)

boobies!

Re:Imagine if ...

[Reverend528]

if people thought Dick Cheney was cold and ruthless, wait until they have Bill Gates in charge.

Everyone will forget Cheney once vice president Ballmer is in office. He breaks tie votes in the senate... with a chair!

Re:Finally!

[CrashPoint]

A politician with the honesty of Bill Clinton, the dashing presence of Michael Dukakis, the sexy charisma of Hubert Humphrey, the commanding stature of Joseph Lieberman, the popularity of Gray Davis, the humble background of John D. Rockefeller, the down-home charm of John Kerry, the electoral experience of Pat Robertson, the honesty of Dan Rostenkowski, and the huge following of Dennis Kucinich!

And the streamlined verbal economy of Crow T. Trollbot!

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[Jett]

I'd rather vote for John Carmack.

Re:BSoD

[Profane MuthaFucka]

While crack technically counts as cocaine, President GW Bush is better known for his troubles with ethanol.

Oh wait, you mean Marion Barry.

Re:A Real Review of Bill Gates

[iONiUM]

I.. I don't think you read the part where I said an impartial opinion without emotion. I read yours and all I see is FDLJFfdjsa;FD;jdsfla ME ANGRY.

Nice try though, you almost had a point.

Re:The very same things which make us hate M$...

[JazzLad]

Boy are *you* gonna regret that comment 90 days after he's elected!

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[TerminalWriter]

I'd rather vote for Carnac the Magnificent

Re:Uh...

[God of Lemmings]

Mod parent Up. He has a point.

More irony ...

[foobsr]

http://www.billgatesforpresident.net/ [billgatesf...sident.net] was running Apache on Linux when last queried at 30-Nov-2006 21:41:05 GMT

Duh.

CC.

Re:Remember

[Surt]

Indeed, when I look at our president, I remember not to hire from those Universities.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[The_Wilschon]

I'd rather vote for Cohen the Barbarian.

Top ten actions of the new president Gates

[SuperKendall]

I know there's already a top ten list related but bear with me...

The Top Ten Actions of The Newly Elected President Gates

10) Air Force One? To paraphrase the Stones, Paint it Brown!
9) Civics classes in school now include mandatory read of "The Road Ahead".
8) Stallman put on "Do Not Fly or Speak" list.
7) What's key to the countries economy? Housing Developers, Housing Developers, Housing Developers! Oops, wrong pres.
6) All military fighter jets retrofitted with iDrive, trunk opening code wired to missile launch.
5) Congress split into Congress Home and Congress Business divisions (you can guess where all the current members go)
4) "The White House isn't wired for GigE? Where's my hammer"
3) Calling Jobs, Ellison, and McNeal and making them sing "Hail to the Chief".
2) Nuclear command infrastructure wired to Vista speech recognition, hijinks ensue.
1) "Hey pie guy, where ya' going?" "I'm going to Gitmo!".

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[Ignominious Cow Herd]

"I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!"

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[Pharmboy]

In this world, you have only predators and prey. I would always choose to be the predator.

If he could do for the US what he did for operating systems, then the US would own the whole world, but it would be a crappy place to live and wouldn't work very well.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[Sj0]

Making up words is also very innovatorious. You, sir, are a true innovatoriat.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[StikyPad]

So you're saying nothing would change...

Re:The very same things which make us hate M$...

[BigBlockMopar]

What is he going to do, round up all the Mac users?

Yes.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[mrchaotica]

I'd rather vote for Jack Thomps... wait, what the fuck am I saying?!! *shoots self*

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[mad_minstrel]

I'd rather vote for John Dvorak.

Re:Bill DID say he was leaving microsoft...

[kb]

I'd rather vote for Günther Frhr von Gravenreuth.

Re:Uh...

[The Benefactor]

I have, I'll get right on it... oh, er, whoops!