President Bush Flip-flopping on Gay Rights Issue? 304
An anonymous reader writes "In a move that has upset some in the GOP, George Bush has suddenly declared his support for civil unions for gay ane lesbian couples. Will such a move help or hurt him this late in the game?"
Let me get this right (Score:4, Funny)
Flip-Flopping is a habit for Bush (Score:5, Funny)
The really frightening thing is some doctors think he is showing signs of pre-senile dementia [archive.org].
Kerry Issues A Response (Score:1, Funny)
and mandatory gay marriages for all citizens. The order nullifies all pre-existing
heterosexual marriages and lays the groundwork for the 103 million compulsory
same-sex marriages that will take place in the US by May 15.
"As we are all aware, it's simply not possible for gay marriage and heterosexual
marriage to co-exist," John Kerry said. "This is just the first step toward creating an all-gay
United States."
Kerry added: "Since the allowance of gay marriage undermines heterosexual
unions, we decided to work a few steps ahead and strike down opposite-sex unions
altogether."
Kerry said his action will put a swift end to the mounting debate.
"Instead of spending months or even years volleying this thing back and forth,
we thought we might as well just cut to the eventual outcome of our decision to
allow gay marriages," Kerry said. "Clearly, this is where this all was headed
anyway."
The campaign issued the surprise statement in response to a flip flop by
President Bush.
"If the history of our nation has demonstrated anything, it's that separate is
never equal," Kerry said,. "Therefore, any measure short of dismantling
conventional matrimony and mandating the immediate homosexual marriage of all
residents of Massachusetts would dishonor same-sex unions. I'm confident that
this measure will be seen by all right-thinking people as the only solution to
our state's, and indeed America's, ongoing marriage controversy."
Kerry then announced his marriage to Heinz heir teacher Teresa Heinz Kerry
would be annulled and that he would marry based on a
pairing that had been randomly generated by computers in the census
office earlier that day.
Those who don't choose to marry in private will be married in concurrent mass
ceremonies at Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium, and the Boston Convention and
Exposition Center. Any citizen who is not gay-married or is still in an illegal
heterosexual relationship after that date will be arrested and tried for
non-support.
Hundreds of confused but vocal protesters lined the street outside the
statehouse Monday night, waving both American and rainbow flags. Their chants,
which broke out in pockets up and down the street, included, "Hey hey, ho ho,
homophobia's got to go, but frankly, this is fucked up" and "Adam and Eve or
Adam and Steve, but not Adam and Some Random Guy." Others held signs that read,
"On Second Thought, Boston Christians Are Willing To Consider A Compromise."
According to police reports, demonstrators were vocal but orderly.
"The unholy union of people of the same gender destroys the only type of
romantic love sanctioned by Our Lord in Heaven: the love between a man and a
woman," 54-year-old protester Rose Shoults said. "Me and my new partner Helene
are going to fry in hell."
The much-anticipated order sets the stage for United States' upcoming
congressional session, where the congress will consider an
amendment to legally define marriage as a union between two members of the same
gender. Without the order, Rep. Michael Festa said the vote, and his personally
dreaded wedding to House Speaker and longtime political opponent Thomas
Finneran, would be delayed.
"This is a victory, not only for our state, but for America," Festa said.
"Simply allowing consenting gay adults the same rights as heterosexuals was
never the point. By forcing everyone in the state into a gay marriage, we're
setting the stage for our more pressing hidden agendas: mandatory sodomy and, in
due time, the legalization of bestiality and pedophilia."
Stop gay sex (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Perhaps not a flip-flop at all? (Score:4, Funny)
How about the ban on new strains of stem cells being developed for research?
The Ghost of J Edgar Hoover (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Unfortunately... (Score:1, Funny)
I'm not listening....
La la la la la la la la
Respectfully,
The Religious Right