U.S. Declares War on Intellectual Property Theft

bblazer writes "Reuters is running a story about a new US effort to stop intellectual property theft. From the article "The U.S. Justice Department on Tuesday outlined what it called its most sweeping crackdown on bootleg DVDs, fake designer goods, illegal music downloads and counterfeit drugs." It also goes on to say that media (movies and music) is highly affected, but so are products like batteries, baby food and Viagra."

Darned Imitation Viagra!

[muntumbomoklik]

I can't tell you how many.... problems... I've had with my imitation Viagra. Luckily, my imitation woman is still holding up pretty good.

Oh no!

[Anonymous Coward]

DVDs: eh.
Designer Clothes: made by sweatshops anyway. Who cares?

Viagra: DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY VIAGRA!! DEATH PENALTY FOR COPIES!

heah come de fuzz

[lottameez]

The Recording Industry Association of America welcomed the report. RIAA chairman Mitch Bainwol said the "commitment of focus, energy and resources outlined in this report is music to our ears."

FWEEET! Up against the wall! - did you pay for that song you're playing in your head?

Re:And legality?

[metlin]

And oh, I was wrong about the figures.

He said the Motion Picture Association of America estimates that 2.6 billion songs, movies and software programs are illegally distributed over the Internet every month.

Hah! I'm sure that puts it at a much higher number than what I put up there.

Hmm, cost of 2.6 billion movie downloads? $260 billion

Cost of 1 nuke? $50 billion

Watching the US Nuke a country for RIAA? Priceless!

Re:So

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't seem to be waging a war on war at the moment...

CNN headlines..

[lordsilence]

"War on Intellectual Property Theft: Criminal raided, found hiding in the basement of an american family."

Let's hope

[w.p.richardson]

that it's as successful as the war on drugs.

Maybe in a few years, prisons will be even more overcrowed...

"What're ya' in for?"
"Downloading Britney, you?"
"N'Sync"

What a joke.

Dear US Govt,

[LiquidCoooled]

I am writing this letter in the hope that you can take affermative action against my local drug dealer.

He has been selling counterfeit drugs for the last few months. The quality of his wares have been steadily dropping now, and I demand action.

When I go out onto the street, I can reasonably expect to purchase high quality original drugs.

Sincerely,
A. Concerned Addict.

Re:CNN headlines..

[apt142]

The report says he's been living there for years feeding off of left overs at the dinner table and putting up with comments from fellow family member about how he should finally move out.

When asked why he did it, he simply responded. "I had to drown out the noise of my two sisters upstairs who were playing Britney Spears 24-7."

His lawyer in a press relief thinks that he'll be acquitted on charges of self preservation.

Re:And legality?

[mforbes]

And the inverse, of course:

1. Get other countries' citizens & subjects to pirate MPAA/RIAA recordings over the internet.
2. Nuke said countries.
3. Dude! Where's my profit?!

Re:Let's hope

[DikSeaCup]

Well, in all fairness, people should go to jail for downloading Britney Spears or N'Sync.

Unfortunately, having extremely bad taste isn't illegal.

You promised us a Drug Free America!

[wiredog]

And I want my free drugs now!

Re:So

[apt142]

Polland. Don't forget Polland.

Guantanamo big enough?

[NoSuchGuy]

A downloader is not a soldier.
My question:

- Is Guantanamo big enough?
- Is the prision personal allowed to use torture in the interrogation?
- Will there be contracts for Halliburton?
- Will american soldiers die in this war?

Re:And legality?

[AGC(AW)]

So, if you think the U.S. is screwed up, I have a suggestion: Leave the country. Move to somewhere else that you are happier with. Move to Iceland where there are girls behind every tree.

Fake drugs?

[asciimonster]

From the conspiracy department: "The U.S. Justice Department (...) crackdown on (...) counterfeit drugs"

And I thought the Government offered free fake drugs in their war on drugs campain. ?-(

Beware, They are amongst us!!!

Re:It Will Never Work, And Here's Why

[Motherfucking Shit]

The war on drugs worked because well-to-do soccer moms were and are scared that their Harvard-bound princesses will end up giving blowjobs for coke, or that their sons will end up slanging yayo in the hood.

Meanwhile, people like me are getting blowjobs from Harvard princesses and buying yayo at record low rates from their brothers. Vive le guerre!

Re:And legality?

[Anonymous Coward]

How about choosing a solution somewhere BETWEEN "waging war" or "let the bad guys run rampant"? You know, not black, not white, but gray.
Hmm... You have to condense your message into a ten second soundbyte. And, you have to clearly identify whether you are for us or against us. Otherwise, people will not understand you and your "likeability" may not be much!

S

Open letter to the **AA

[hypnotik]

Dear RIAA, MPAA

The world has changed. Move On. Stop trying to recoup the costs of creation and promotion by building it into the cost of creation. Find some other way to profit from the works of others, for the method you are using now is nearing the end of its usefulness. You can sue every single person that copies a movie or song over the net, but how can you sue those that do not use the net as their means of transport? As large hardisks become more plentiful, your battle becomes harder. And this is a battle you will ultimately lose - the more you fight, the more costly it will become. For the people you are fighting are your reason for exisiting. If you put them in jail, take all of their savings, or alienate them, you might as well disappear - for they will never purchase your products again.

Welcome to the new world.

What a relief

[blueforce]

I can't stand to lose any more of my intellect.

Re:And legality?

[TummyX]

The War on Terror. Yep that's working: so far two countried fucked up


HOW DARE THEY remove Uncle Saddam's Utopia and the Uncle Osama's paradise and replace them with eeevil capatalistic and prosperous liberal democracies! They've ruin those countries just like they ruined Japan, Germany and South Korea (luckily Uncle Kim's Eden has thus far survived).

FUCKING TERRORISTS!

War on.....

[Anonymous Coward]

How about a war on declaring war on things?

Re:Oh sure

[TheRaven64]

You mean the top 40?

Hmm....

[MADCOWbeserk]

When the fake viagra fails to work you can buy your girlfriend some fake duracells.

Will they...

[jalet]

... ever stop to declare wars ?

Re:And legality?

[sepluv]

...and Skull and Bones [google.com]...oh sorry...you already mentioned the US government.

Re:And legality?

[sepluv]

>>(including our prezodent, so the rumours go)

I agree with your side of the argument, but you really didn't help it by mentioning that case study of the effects of drugs.

Re:Let's hope

[EvilTwinSkippy]

Judge: How does the defendent plead to 4 counts of music piracy?

Defendent: Oops, I did it again.

Re:And legality?

[Crashmarik]

So what your'e saying is it was no worse than an election in Chicago ?

Re:And legality?

[Fulcrum of Evil]

So what your'e saying is it was no worse than an election in Chicago ?

To put it another way, it was slightly better than a Florida election.

Re:And legality?

[ssstraub]

Might as well elect a king of the world, and go out on a rampant, imperialistic conquest, eh?

I mean, is this a popularity contest or what? I say nuke everyone that isn't the US! We are the only ones that matter anyway. I can't understand why anyone would not like us!