Senator Alleges White House Wrote Allawi's Speech

Jeremiah Cornelius writes "In a letter to the White House, a leading US Senate Democrat, Diane Feinstein, expressed 'profound dismay' that the White House allegedly wrote a large portion of Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi's speech to Congress last week. 'His speech gave me hope that reconstruction efforts were proceeding in most of the country and that elections could be held on schedule. To learn that this was not an independent view, but one that was massaged by your campaign operatives, jaundices the speech and reduces the credibility of his remarks.'"

Re:Ahh

[Anonymous Coward]

et tu, Rumsfeld?

Are we sure?

[k4_pacific]

Because I distinctly saw President Bush take a drink of water while he was speaking.

it's hard work to try to love her as best as I can

[Anonymous Coward]

BUSH:

You know, I think about Missy Johnson. She's a fantastic lady I met in Charlotte, North Carolina....

You know, it's hard work to try to love her as best as I can...

Re:News for nerds?

[Anonymous Coward]

All I ask for are some frickin stories about frickin sharks with frickin lasers on their heads. Throw me a bone guys.

Why did Bush quit drinking gin?

[rondumsfeld]

...cause it made him mean.

Re:daily show

[Gregg Alan]

Well, it is nice to see that someone in Washington watches the Daily Show, I guess. The night after the speech they did a segment showing that several of the phrases in the speech were exactly the same as the president uses.

Phrases indeed. I long for a day when the President of the United States can speak in complete sentances.

Re:Is this news?

[catalina]

It's the desparate tactics of the people whose candidate is starting to slide

Interesting choice of misspellings - I can't decide whether desperate or disparate fits better here.....

Re:Debate

[Anonymous Coward]

The debate was OK, I guess. But neither candidate answer the REAL QUESTION:

When are they going to fire that guy at the US Mint who keeps making American money look gayer and gayer?

First, he made the faces on the bills all all big and gay. Then came the multi-state quarter madness. Now, there's the peach colored $20's and the "special edition" nickels. And he still has plans to release a newer, gayer version of the nickel soon!

Mr. Bush, Mr. Kerry, the American people deserve an answer: What will you do to protect the heterosexuality of our money?

Re:Let's face it...

[bofkentucky]

Clinton didn't suck, he outsourced it!

Surprise surprise . . . . .

[theparanoidcynic]

The puppet prime minister of the puppet government of a half-conquered nation is saying what his puppet boss' bosses tell him.

I for one welcome our puppet overlords.

Re:Is this news?

[ackthpt]

Is this really news to anyone? I watched only a small clip of the speech and said "Bush's speechwriters wrote that speech.

I missed it, did it have about 100 "uh"s in it?

no, no, take out the part about the prisoner abuse and practically leveling a city of friendlies to get Sadr and put in heroical things that make us look good

I FOR ONE

[Anonymous Coward]

welcome our new American overlords!

Re:Let's face it...

[10000000000000000000]

I have serious hope that a group of revolutionary technocrats will simply develop omnescient, benevolent AI, controlling hoards of robots which will set this world in order once and for all.

We have gone through a time of childhood as an intelligence: but we will create our own parents in this form.

The horror!

[otter42]

Shocked, I am.

Shocked and astonished by this news.

Namely, that there's a senator stupid enough to have accepted the speech as independent material.

Simpsons quote...

[Mastadex]

Oh My God, The PTA has disbanded!!

*jumps thru window*

Daily Show

[NoseSocks]

Off topic, yes, but how many people here think the Daily Show will have infinite material after tonight's debates? The Puppet comments alone could be used to make a miniseries.

Re:Is this news?

[SlashHack]

meh.. it's not really "news".. it's from the CBS-esque style of reporting. "Yeah.. I found this news in my ass, it must be true."

Thanks..

Re:Why did Bush quit drinking gin?

[chitownIrish]

I've said many times that if I had a time machine, I would go back to that precise point in history where Dubya first dried up and found Jesus...

and buy him a shot, a beer and a lap dance. It would be the most well spent fifty bucks in history.

What Bill Gates is thinking

[starprose]

Funny, I thought Microsoft Word wrote most speeches to Congress.

Re:Is this news?

[Michael Woodhams]

These days, it's not the Iraqi government that's kidnapping, torturing, and murdering people, but a group of loosely-affiliated amateurs.

Come on, the US army isn't quite that poorly organized.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Bush and Allawi

[jgardn]

Last week, Karl Rove pulled off a spectacular victory by suckering Dan Rather to present obviously forged documents as real. This week, the plot thickens.

GEORGE AND ALLAWI ARE TALKING ON THE PHONE

ALLAWI'S HOUSE IS BEING ATTACKED BY TERRORISTS SHOUTING "Allah Ackbar! Saddam is great! We love Kerry!" BOMBS ARE EXPLODING AND THERE IS GUNFIRE.

ALLAWI: George, I'm kind of busy. You know, the whole "Iraq" thing?

GEORGE: But that was solved a long time ago. Didn't you hear my speech from the carrier? I said, "IRAQ IS NOW A FREE COUNTRY, AND EVERYONE SHOULD GO HOME NOW."

ALLAWI: Okay, George, if you say so. What time do you want me to drop by the congress?

GEORGE: Right when my convention bubble starts to burst. Oh, and I have the speech we wrote for you.

ALLAWI: Alright, I'll see you there.

LATER, AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE FOLLOWING ALLAWI'S SPEECH

REPORTER: Prime Minister Allawi, what do you say to your critics who call you a "dundering idiot" who "can't even write his own speeches" and "who obviously doesn't know anything about Iraq, despite the fact that he is an Iraqi and living in Iraq and leading Iraq"?

ALLAWI: Well, I ... (keeps talking) ...

GEORGE DRINKS A GLASS OF WATER

REPORTERS OOH AND AAH

REPORTER: (Interrupting Allawi) George, where did you learn to do ventriloquism so well?

GEORGE: I'd tell you Karl Rove taught me, but that would be a lie. (chuckles anxiously) Okay, you got me. Karl Rove taught me.

KARL ROVE RUNS ON TO THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER

KARL: (Hitting George with the newspaper) Bad George, bad George! No biscuit for you today!

LATER THAT DAY, JOHN KERRY INTERVIEWS REPORTERS

JOHN: I knew all along that Allawi is a stooge. In fact, his nickname was "Larry". Or was it "Moe"? I don't recall. But that's not the point. The point is that Allawi is a stooge.

REPORTER: Senator Kerry, how did you know this? You've never been to an intelligence committee for years!

JOHN: Well, as you know, (or as *I* know), I am omniscient. I am also omnipotent. Here, watch this. Using my mind I will cause an earthquake in Southern California.

JOHN CONCENTRATES.

CUT SCENE TO SAN FRANCISCO SHAKING IN AN EARTHQUAKE

JOHN: As you can see, I am clearly superior to George Bush in every way, and I will solve all the problems in Iraq and the rest of the world. However, you have to elect me president first. Otherwise, I will be powerless.

REPORTERS ARE AWWED AND STUNNED AND REVERENTLY KNEEL. A LIGHT SHINES AROUND JOHN KERRY AND HE LIFTS HIS ARMS AS IF TO BLESS THE REPORTERS.

Re:Kerry dominated Bush in today's debate

[flyingsquid]

Kerry gutted Bush like a fish. If you were lucky enough to catch this on C-SPAN, you got to see each candidate while the other spoke. Kerry came across as commanding and presidential. Bush looked like a small child lost in the mall, looking for his mother. Kerry was calm, confident, even smiling broadly- he owned that debate and he knew it. Bush was agitated, nervous, and uncomfortable. Kerry showed that he knew his facts, and Bush didn't. Afterwards, C-SPAN took calls. The Bush callers claimed Bush had won- they were clearly in whatever fantasy land Bush inhabits. One of them said, rather defensively, that Bush looked disoriented and agitated only because he was confused by all of Kerry's flip-flopping. That one had me howling.

Re:Letters from Iraq

[DrMrLordX]

Men elect to become cheerleaders in the hopes of being able to hold a female cheerleader aloft by her crotch. Sometimes they try to sneak a peek up there, too. That hardly seems homosexual to me.

Mod me down if you like, but you know it's true.

Re:Ahh

[killjoe]

"cnn poll tonight shows kerry won the debates 78% to 18% or so."

Kerry could have been more forceful but I agree he wiped the floor with GW. GW seemed to keep repeating the same five phrases over and over again. Plus he kept saying how hard it was. Over and over he said "it's hard work". Well DUH, you are the leader of the free world what were you expecting!

Re:Ahh

[Asha2004]

At least the romans gave us roads and stability for a while.....

Re:Letters from Iraq

[Crazy Eight]

I think you should change your nick, bud.

A monkey wrote Bush's debate

[gelfling]

Or maybe it was a mooooooolah.

Re:Letters from Iraq

[Anonymous Coward]

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation.

My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window. He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"

"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." He replied.

"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."

Our son giggled and said "OK."

"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.

"OK Dad, I'm pretending."

"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this son.... what do you do?"

"Dad?"

"What do you do son?"

"I'd call the police, Dad."

"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations and they take your call, listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"

"Dad.......... but the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.

"They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.

"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.

"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."

"Daddy...he kills them?"

"Yes son, he does. What do you do?"

"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says.

"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.

"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"

"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.

"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?"

"What Daddy?"

"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in he window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"Daddy..."

"WHAT DO YOU DO?"

Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy."

My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him..."Why?"

"Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them...and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."

I start to cry.

My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husbands questions and he says..."Son"

"Ye

Re:I'm amazed

[ronfar]

Our President talks of bringing freedom to the world, but I have a feeling he's never read any of the works I'm describing either (he may have read a certain book by Macchiavelli however, or at least some of his aides clearly have).

I'll listen to a lot of criticisms of our president. You can say he's a drooling moron who could easily be outsmarted by a monkey. You could say he's a twisted, evil man who enjoys the suffering of the innocent. You could say that he's a deranged 'dry-drunk' with delusions that he has been personally chosen by God to banish evil from the world. I'll even agree with those criticisms.

But I will not sit back and listen to accusations that he has read a book.

Re:Allawi

[The Queen]

How can you debate somebody that can't even understand what you are saying?

You know what? They ran a piece in my local paper yesterday suggesting what each candidate should do (or not do) during the debate, and one of their suggestions was that Kerry should not use so many big words.

Yes, I live in Republicanland (VA, the "Old Dominion" - or as my dad used to say, the "Old Dumb Onion").

Re:Ahh

[rthille]

Well DUH, you are the leader of the free world what were you expecting!

Well, if you believe Fahrenheit 9/11, I think he expected to be on vacation for 4 years. Up until 9/11 anyway...

(yeah, yeah, it's flamebait...)

Re:Allawi

[AoT]

Bush did say "rue the day" and "vociferous"

I was mildly impressed at that.

Re:Allawi

[Hard_Code]

I forgot:

*) "I believe I'm going to win" "I expect to win". [ that's what we like, complete lack of humility ]
*) "I understand" "I know that" "of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that." I'M BRIAN FELLOWS! [ ok I made up that last part, but it's reassuring that the president knows whether he knows something, especially who attacked us ]

And now on the one hand Bush accuses Kerry of disrespecting allies and the current coalition, while on the other hand he is now out campaigning and saying that having a committee with allies won't accomplish anything and that "The use of troops to defend America must never be subject to a veto from countries like France" - now regardless of whether that is a plainly stupid tautology on the face of it, what of Bush insulting France? When Kerry criticizes the efficacy of the current coalition it's disrespectful, but Bush French-bashing (last I checked, even though they disagree with this administration, they are still one of our country's prime allies), hey, that's fair game! And not to mention "You can't claim terrorists cross the border into Iraq, yet at the same time try to claim that Iraq is somehow a diversion from the war against terror." DING DING logic alert. Pop quiz: Did 1) the war on Iraq cause terrorists to flood in, or did 2) terrorists flooding in cause the war on Iraq? If you answered #1, you have a firm inherent grasp of causality! Attacking Iraq lead to terrorists crossing the border. DUH. Now it may be involved in the "war on terror" only because you made it a big fucking terror magnet that it wasn't before! Good job! Let's bomb Iran and North Korea too, I hear there are terrorists waiting to cross the border right at this moment!

Re:Allawi

[d34thm0nk3y]

Yeah, but I guess you have to give him some credit for coming up with all those different ways to call Kerry a flipflopper. That GW, what a grand skill of synnonymity.

Well, we may have gone to war under false intelligence, creating a stronger terrorist threat than ever, meanwhile killing a thousand of our own troops and thousands of innocent Iraqis....BUT YOU'RE A FLIP-FLOPPER!!!!!!